More scraps of words

The last one of these three is terrible. I think I wrote it when I was a teenager, about trying to guess a fictional guy’s sexual orientation and not knowing. Anyway, it`s bad. So, voila.

Be still, hummingbird heart

—————————————–

Luckily, he’s not too smart
otherwise he’s bash your head

—————————————-

Wake up from a dream, grinning
me and the boy I’d love to date
(Wish could get into those positions we were in)
‘Cause it’s (the) bottom of the ninth inning
and up to bat is Jake.
Catching on the other team is Jake…

Let Go lyrics draft

Since my draft for “A Late Valentine” proved to be surprisingly popular,  here’s another draft with even more scribbles for lyrics for a song I recently re-wrote called “Let Go.”

Let me know what’s in your head
so I won’t feel like I’m halfway dead.

Thanks.

Untitled song

Was playing this song earlier and I really dug it, which doesn’t happen a lot with my own songs.  I should probably get on recording this and my “album” sometime.

Untitled

Here lie the fragments of a broken yesterday,
and the soul of a boy cursed to live it.
“This is a headline in my mind,” they all would say,
as the ties begin to curdle and they mutter, “I can’t forgive it.”

Salty hands, wiping down the rivers on your face
before shoving them in pockets hoping no one sees.
Must be comfortable living in that little bubble,
and when I turn around to wave all I get is your back to me.

CHORUS:
Blink once, and I’m still here.
And once again, you’re too near.
I wish we could disappear
from this town.

Black and white, the only shades that appear to you.
My heart is just a pawn in your little chess game.
Stare as hard as you want, but this ain’t no magic mirror,
and in the end when I’m gone all you’ll have is yourself to blame.

Blink once, you’re still here.
And once again, I’m too near.
I wish we could disappear
from this town.
From this town.

If there’s a place that exists that we can finally go,
Take my hand, we’ll board a train, or we’ll never know…

CHORUS:
Blink once, and we’re still here.
And once again, everybody’s getting nearer.
I wish we could disappear
from this town.
Or we’ll never know.

Lyrics

Some lyrics I wrote today.

Lyrics

Once we believed that it was fate,
but now I see I’ve just been played.
A Fortune’s fool to claim the gold that melts away,
and be the scarecrow in the field of yesterday.

Dear Life

I almost forgot about this little ditty I wrote.  It’s really short and is based on Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No. 1 and was written to be included in a documentary short I co-directed/wrote, part of the Playing It Safe Project I was in a few years ago.  It’s also the first song I ever wrote on guitar, and it was difficult to record, even though there are only a few chords in the entire piece.  The lyrics came to me really quickly, possibly because I was just looking for something quick to write, but I didn’t end up changing them very much because I felt that they fit with the film and the message I was trying to convey.

As of now, I don’t have any recording of it up on youtube although you can hear it two ways:

1.  It’s uploaded on my myspace music page here: www.myspace.com/aaronjchan

2.  Watch the film!  A Dose of Life is personally my favourite film I was able to make with Lulu Gurney as part of the Playing It Safe Project (and I think that’s saying a lot too).  However, I don’t think the full version of the song is in the film (it definitely is on myspace).  http://playing-it-safe.nfb.ca/youth-filmmakers.php?youth=20&film=74

3.  Do both!  I recommend this one.  🙂

Dear Life

Will I ever get off this ride of rushes?
The choice seems clear but I can’t decide,
I’m aimless.

Life extends its hand towards me.
Should I take it?
And as the moment passes me by,
I hang on for dear life.

Dear life…

Chasing Destiny

With my love for gay teen novels, I picked up a hefty one called Hero, about a gay teen who has healing powers (but also destructive, to a certain point).  What struck me most about the novel other than the fact that the protagonist was a gay teen who had other problems than coming out (ie. it wasn’t the focus of the novel) was that some of the passages in the book were so detailed and so captivating that it was one of the few books I could not stop reading (the end battle is fantastically described and written). I loved Hero, and after reading up on Perry Moore, the author, I loved that he was so passionate about writing and getting this book out to teens.  He was also a producer on the Narnia films and had written a TV pilot for Hero, which was supported by Stan f-ing Lee, the creator of Marvel comics and the two of them were asking people on imdb what their casting choices for the characters would be.  I responded a couple times about the casting I saw in my mind and he responded back, which I thought was pretty awesome.

Last month, I was on imdb like it was any other day when I saw on the newsfeed on the front page that one of the producers from the Narnia films had OD’ed.

“Holy shit!” I shouted in my bedroom, at my computer.  My fears were confirmed when, upon clicking on the link, I saw Perry’s name attached to the article. Crap.  This fantastic man had died.

Back to last year, when I finished reading Hero, I wanted to write a superhero song and one based on Thom (the main character) and his experiences.  I wrote what I eventually called “Chasing Destiny” but there were lines in it that I still had to finish, and I’ve never performed it for anyone  — well, besides my mom who’s never really listening and my cat who, as much as I want to believe, doesn’t understand — though I mentioned on Perry’s imdb page that I would post it as soon as I finished it.

Today, I still haven’t finished everything but I have the melody, the piano, and about 95% of the lyrics done, and it’s a song that I actually also really like and enjoy playing. I only wish Perry would’ve heard it before he passed away.

So here’s to you, Mr. Moore, because you’ve made an impact on not only me, but so many people around the world thanks to your book.

Chasing Destiny

Heroes are born by day,
like the stars up in the sky.
Unbounded by moments in time,
I wonder when is mine.

Captured courage in my hands,
burning like an open flame.
I’ve taken hold of kismet’s reins,
and nothing will be the same.
Oh, nothing will be the same…

CHORUS
Can I break through this cold and lonely world?
to find the truth… [insert 3 syllables here]… I’m chasing destiny.

Such power in my hands,
does it come from just a mask?
Who can tell the future
when I’m fig’ring out the past?

Oh, I need a new solution
to the way things have to be.
One of a milion,
all the odds are ‘gainst me.
All the odds are ‘gainst me…

CHORUS

If all the walls crumbled at the feet,
would I be left with all I fear to meet?

As time will bring soldiers to their knees,
unless we find [insert 3 syllables]… I’m chasing destiny.
I’m chasing destiny.

Patterns/Untitled

Long, long ago, in a basement in East Van, my friend Bekki and I were fidding around with my keyboard while her seemingly schizophrenic cat would jump on our backs, embedding her claws into our skin.  I had suggested previous times for Bekki to write a song, since she was a singer and a pianist like me, but she never seemed driven to do so (also she claimed she wasn’t a songwriter even though she had never actually attempted to write a song).  But this time, for whatever inspired reason, Bekki took out her notebook or random writings over the last many years and we began to deconstruct some interesting lines of her poetry to construct the lyrics of a song.

While I worked on the music, she continued working on the last bits of lyrics, and eventually, this untitled song was born.  Unfortunately, we both thought it was terrible (especially the ending) and it was never performed in public.  That being said, I still remember how the song goes, even after these years…

Bekki had tentatively named it “Patterns” but I don’t quite agree with that title, so it’s still just “Untitled” to me.  Behold my first collaborative effort!

Patterns/Untitled

So it begins anew,
I start high but fall in rank.
So far behind, yet I run when called.
Detach me from reality.

You are simple but confusing:
A blank voice pulled aside from memories.
Stab my heart, but it’s too late,
Or maybe I’m just weak…

CHORUS
This bitterness, my only bliss,
this unrequited love.
The filtered sounds give names for tears,
City lights bind all my fears.

Never meant to drown the stars.
Come with me, rewrite these scars.
‘Cause time just seems to slip away,
I lose myself when you’re not here.

So it begins anew.
I started high but fell….

One More Day

I often tell people that “Empty” was the first song I wrote, but that’s not actually true.  Back in the 10th Grade, instead of listening to Mr. O’Connor drone on about Social Studies and his propaganda (more on that a different day), I wrote this poem that somehow turned into a song in my mind. Sure, the lyrics are terrible and the melody of which I have long forgotten was probably equally terrible.  But hey.  Without this, I may not have ever been able to take a look at this later and thought, “Huh.  So this is kinda really bad.  Let’s write something good for a change… like about depression!”

One More Day

The morning brings to me,
Something I don’t know.
Singing in the streets,
Is what I have to show.

Why is life so hard
with everything I do?
Nothing seems to start
but your face will get me through
‘Cuz I know that…

CHORUS

I need to be free,
I need you with me.
When I’m goin’ crazy
and my mind is hazy, yeah
I need my own ways
Don’t care what you say.
Just help me get through one more day.

Dreamin’ of your face,
Thinking of your smile.
Staring into space,
Thouts just seem to pile.

Words can’t express,
how much I like you.
This problem’s such a mess
but I know you’ll get me through.
‘Cuz it seems like…

Repeat chorus

And it feels like this is never gonna work out,
on the inside, this is making me scream and shout.
Trying to forget you, but there is no doubt.
Now I cannot lie,
My love will only grow.
I can’t deny

[I think there’s a line more but the paper’s ripped at the bottom.  Which may be a good thing.]

Secret

I thought I had posted all the song lyrics I had written but apparently not.

Secret

Breathe a secret in a bottle,
careful not to spill a drop.
Slam a cork in,
throw it away.

But it someone were to catch this message,
he swears his world would fall.
So it’s best not to breathe
than say anything at all.

CHORUS:

I know it’s hard but
every word you say, every step you take
will lead you to where you belong.
And out of darkness,
there’ll be a light, you’ll no longer fight
with the demons of doubt in your head.
And walk through the door

And with each passing day
the secret’s in his heart.
You can layer on the lies
but a thought is never too far.
A thought is never too far,
a thought is never too far.

CHORUS

And when the bottle washes up on someone’s shores,
that’ll be the day… someday.