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Found this while fixing a drawer in my table.  From 2003, and it must’ve been written during one of my nights at Cadets with my friend Athena.

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As the soldier marches on the field,
the screams of terror grow.
Not a person does his gun yield.
How did we sink so low?
Piles of bodies lying everywhere,
puddles of ruby liquid on the ground.
No doctor to seek for care,
musical notes of pain is the only sound.
The rumbling of tanks on soil
as scary as an earthquake under my feet.
Everywhere I turn there is turmoil,
and there is barely anything to eat.

Lyrics

Some lyrics I wrote today.

Lyrics

Once we believed that it was fate,
but now I see I’ve just been played.
A Fortune’s fool to claim the gold that melts away,
and be the scarecrow in the field of yesterday.

Untitled

Something I scribbled on till paper while bored and waiting at work yesterday.

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You shine so bright,
a neon sign
whispering secrets;
untold fairytales,
begging to come true but
held down between blades of papercuts,
pressed flower petals.
I’ll fold you away,
my creased letter,
and keep you in the empty vault
next to my heart.
But even lights do not burn forever–
and soon, all that will remain
is your cracked smile.

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I woke up at 5 something in the morning last night to find the light on my piano on outside in the living room.  Was it my cat or some sort of other-worldly spirit?  Eventually I came up with a script idea which I now need to write.  In the meantime, here’s this.

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Welcome to the 3am puppet show.
Spotlight on a closed piano
while silent ninja launch assaults of throwing star shadows on the walls.
Only the hiss and hum of the single light can be heard.
All spectators can see the music, taste the overwhelming darkness,
take a swim in the glow.

[this isn’t very good but I’ll post this anyway.  I wrote this in about 5 minutes but I’ll go back to it some other time.]

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I can try my hardest but there is no avail.

I can reach out to people but nothing will come of it.

Does fat have fun with my sadness or am I simply unlucky?  When everything leads to nothing, where am I?

I stand here, unmoving, unadvanced, while the path that once lay in front of me gets buried by the sand.  There is no road for me — only loneliness.

Am I to be eternally plagued with misfortune, to be tempted by a dangling hope, only to have it snatched from me?”

“Just kiddin.”  It’s nothing.  It’s life.

While the world goes on and people find themselves and each other, I am left standing here, standing but fractured.

People crash into each other every day and find someone to hold on to.

Everyone lets go of me.

Their excuses bounce off me, one after another, each carrying their version of hope, bright and welcoming in my eyes.  But they depart, leaving me to watch them go, taking the hope with them.

Here I continue to stand.

Waiting for the next one.

Patterns/Untitled

Long, long ago, in a basement in East Van, my friend Bekki and I were fidding around with my keyboard while her seemingly schizophrenic cat would jump on our backs, embedding her claws into our skin.  I had suggested previous times for Bekki to write a song, since she was a singer and a pianist like me, but she never seemed driven to do so (also she claimed she wasn’t a songwriter even though she had never actually attempted to write a song).  But this time, for whatever inspired reason, Bekki took out her notebook or random writings over the last many years and we began to deconstruct some interesting lines of her poetry to construct the lyrics of a song.

While I worked on the music, she continued working on the last bits of lyrics, and eventually, this untitled song was born.  Unfortunately, we both thought it was terrible (especially the ending) and it was never performed in public.  That being said, I still remember how the song goes, even after these years…

Bekki had tentatively named it “Patterns” but I don’t quite agree with that title, so it’s still just “Untitled” to me.  Behold my first collaborative effort!

Patterns/Untitled

So it begins anew,
I start high but fall in rank.
So far behind, yet I run when called.
Detach me from reality.

You are simple but confusing:
A blank voice pulled aside from memories.
Stab my heart, but it’s too late,
Or maybe I’m just weak…

CHORUS
This bitterness, my only bliss,
this unrequited love.
The filtered sounds give names for tears,
City lights bind all my fears.

Never meant to drown the stars.
Come with me, rewrite these scars.
‘Cause time just seems to slip away,
I lose myself when you’re not here.

So it begins anew.
I started high but fell….

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When you look at me,
Can you see my fading light?
The dimness growing deeper
A crescendo as the tunnel continues
into an empty heart.
Hope is just a memory
an onnocent chid crying in the arms of a tained future.
Liquid conscience trickling down
a trail of overgrown weeds and oblivion.

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If it takes a tragedy
To finally make you see,
I’ll step off the curb.

If it takes a crime scene
To show you what I mean,
It doesn’t matter who takes the first swing.

If it takes a permanent sleep
To hear you speak
Words you’ve hidden from me,
I already feel fatigue pulling the ropes on my eyelids.

And when my bones have turned to dust,
And these words are rust,
It is then that you will know:
I have loved you all along.

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Something I wrote when I was in Grade 11, I think.  Holy jeez, this is bad… enjoy!

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As the snow falls,
I’m reminded that another year is almost over.
I sit by the window,
watching as each individual flake
falls outside.
The weatherman says it’ll snow quite
a bit
I think about winter,
about not having school,
but more importantly about the snow.
We are like snowflakes; each different
from all the rest, floating freely in
the air.  We land on the ground and
then poof!… we melt.  We’re dead.
To me, winter reminds me
that our time is almost done.

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The other day,
I saw a crack in the city,
between the needles on the street.
And the skyscrapers
injecting themselves
into the sky

The ocean blended with heaven —
a warm, blue universe,
inviting all those to stay.
And in this fracture,
all was peaceful and calm,
while a tempest
of shouting
traffic
and plagues
raged outside the blue.

The blue, confused me.
The line between water and sky was blurred
nonexistent
as if the sky was now on Earth
or all the oceans floated in the air
an elegant carpet into the galaxy
I stared in awe, transfixed by the beauty
And the confusion.

But when I blinked,
the city returned to its former state,
as if it had healed itself.
The crack in the city,
now smoothed over and filled in,
like the cracks on the road in front of me.