What to say to people when you have no compliments

An older Chinese lady came up to the desk and was speaking to my colleague. She helped this lady with whatever it was she needed help with. The lady said, enunciating every word, “You have a bright smile” with a Chinese accent. My colleague laughed and thanked her. The lady repeated the phrase again: “You have a bright smile” before explaining that it’s a nice thing to say to people.

My colleague left the desk and I took over. The lady continued, “But you don’t tell men they have a bright smile.”

I laughed. “Well, that’s not fair.”

“You tell them, ‘You are great!'” she replied.

And since my family seems to think I’m the world’s biggest douche, even more so than Donald Trump, for joking that I didn’t like my cousins shirt (yes, really), next time, I’ll just say, unenthusiastically, “You. Are. Great.”

So old

It’s been two years since the last post and almost ten years since we all graduated from high school. Yeah, time flies and all those clichés, but does it get you wondering about whether or not what you’re doing is life making any impact in the world? I feel like most people get jobs to make money for themselves rather than make any sort of change; for example, someone in business or finance just makes money for themselves or for their clients. Whereas a doctor makes money but more importantly, aids and saves people. I find it frustrating that the “best jobs” are often ones touted as making the most income rather than measured in merit, and it’s still difficult to reconcile being a writer/artist in a world where people look down on you or have assumptions about your job. I constantly wonder if I should be doing something else, followed by constantly reassuring myself that what I’m doing is in fact worthwhile and meaningful. This entire paragraph probably should’ve been posted on my blog instead of this one that one checks anymore.

Also, I’m going to change the layout of this because it looks bland. How is everyone else doing? Excited for the high school reunion? I’m considering lying to people and telling them I own a medical marijuana clinic. It probably would come across as more accomplished than a writer.

Best line

Without giving me his library card or anything, a guy comes up to the desk and asks, “Is my book in yet?”

Handsome guys at the library

I wish I could step out from behind the desk and help them find their books. And then, when we’re alone, they’d ask, “Do you want to go out sometime?”

I also have to fight the urge to just blurt out before they leave, “You know you’re really handsome!” and then look around like someone else said it.

I need to work less

Contrary to everyone’s opinions about work.

After seven days of work in a row…

I will attempt to relax this weekend, starting with sleeping in. Yay.

I want to vomit all over the books

Felt nauseated after eating a veggie croissant today (should’ve gone with the mercury-infused tuna instead). So much for trying to be more vegetarian. I felt like vomitting and I’m sure I would’ve if I continued to think about vomit and puking all over the carpet and the children’s books that are probably full of germs anyway. But I didn’t, so I didn’t vomit.

The end.

Old lady

I am to start work at 10am. I arrive at 9:55am. There are people waiting for the library to open when I get there. I make my way past them and knock on the door to get in.

Old Lady: It doesn’t open until ten.

Me: I know. I work here.

Old Lady: Oh. [chuckles] You’re almost late.

Me: [not wanting to get into an argument] Yeah, I know.

And then it bothered me for about another hour.

I, Dumbass

Thought I was scheduled to work at one library today but it turns out I wasn’t (and thank god they told me I wasn’t scheduled in advance). I tried to find out where I was supposed to work from 1-5pm like I had written in my agenda, but no such luck searching my inbox for a confirmation email.

“Oh, maybe I was just confused or something,” I thought to myself. Still, I know myself enough to know that I don’t just write down random work days for no reason. I’m not that stupid.

So I took the day off; I went grocery shopping with my mom in the afternoon, then went to watch Guardians of the Galaxy (finally, I know). After the film, I checked my email and lo and behold, there was one from a different branch, telling me I had been scheduled to work today. She even forwarded me the confirmation email that I somehow couldn’t find in my inbox, and sure enough, I said, “I am available to work on Sunday Oct. 12 if you haven’t found anyone.”

Fuccckkkkkkkkkkkk.

Fuck.

I felt so bad, so guilty, so stupid. And yeah, everyone makes mistakes and it’s not like anyone died (that I know of. Maybe they became overwhelmed by books and have now been buried in them forever). I’m sure part of my guilt is that I have high expectations for myself and that I pride myself on being at least above average intelligence, but man, if this isn’t an indicator of the alternative. And it’s not like I can really make it up — except maybe offering to volunteer my services, but I don’t even have time for that — and I’m not sure if there are any consequences for missing a shift (like going on my record or someone from HR officially telling me an idiot, which I already know). Ugh.

I guess I’ll just try to obey what the fortune cookie advised me: to have a relaxing weekend with family and friends.

Library Jail

Kids: I want this movie! No, this one!

Dad: We can’t take out too many because we might lose them and then we’d have to pay. That one there looks like it would be pricey to replace.

Random kid: You have to pay if you lose them.

Dad: See? They probably put you in jail if you lose them!