Waking up sad

6 02 2013

In my dream last night, I was riding  a tricycle speedily through the streets of my neighborhood on my way to Richmond (I think).  As I approached an intersection, there was a minivan there.  I looked at the driver, and saw that it was K.  I waved and smiled at him, and he gave me a small smile.  I rode up to him, got off my tricycle, and feeling bold, I opened the car door and kissed him hard, the way I should’ve done in December when I saw him.  He was taken aback (obviously) but kissed me back.  When we stopped, I asked him what he was doing.  Then I saw the cardboard boxes in the backseat, stacked upon each other and I knew.  He told me he was leaving the city, and when I asked if it was forever, he didn’t say anything.

I must’ve gotten into the car as well because I remember sitting in the passenger seat and covering my eyes with my hands, crying and crying that I would never see him again.  I wanted to go with him but then there was school and by the time I was done, he might be with someone else or have moved on from me.

When I woke up, I felt– and am still feeling– melancholic and sad.  I was planning on watching Django Unchained at Fifth for a matinee showing, but I knew I wouldn’t be in the right mood to watch something like that.  So here I am, writing about it and listening to Eluvium.