Straight guys suck

22 10 2014

They’re fantastic kissers, but then they get stupid after sleeping with you. Maybe it’s watching Orange is the New Black and feeling like I could sass the world if it ever got in my face, but as I learned today whilst text-arguing with a straight boy, I’m tired to slinking away the wounded party and taking things personally. It’s your fucking fault if you think it’s “inappropriate” to go to a movie with me if you’re seeing someone. How is it inappropriate? What the fuck do you think will happen? That I’ll hit on you and break you two up? Which, by the way, implies that you’re not as straight as you claim, if all it takes is a movie to get you playing on team Gay. You chose your sexuality, but that doesn’t mean you gotta be a jerk about it. Clearly, it still bothers you — I bother you. But then again, you won’t have had a few drinks like last time before you were finally able to be around me, so I guess that says something about you.

I’ll always remember you telling me that blowjob I gave you was in your top 5. Can she beat that? I wouldn’t put my money on it.