“I Love Like a Lesbian”

Wanted to post this one.  It’s from my reading at thrilLITERATE last week, the last one I read.

A friend didn’t understand the poem and although I could attribute it to his innocence and general naiviety about the world outside of his farm, perhaps there are others who don’t get it.  To understand it, you have to know about stereotypes, mainly that lesbians fall in love and get together VERY quickly.  I make fun of it but I also explain how I, as a gay man, am like that too.

Alright, now that I’ve told you how to interpret the poem, here it is:

A Formula for Idiocy

Something I conjured up in non-fiction class.  Does it make sense?  I was never good at math.

Formula for Idiocy

a = a person
b = ridiculous things people say

Formula:  a + a = b
if b takes place on a bus, b (ridiculousness) multiplies by 2:

so, a + a = 2b
What you do to one side, you must do to the other:

Formula: 2(a + a) = 2b

Exercise: if a = typical skateboarder, and there are two of them on a bus, find b.

Answer: 2(a + a) = 2b
b = talking about absurd television show involving a warden owning a jail, telling the inmates to wear rabbit costumes.

New formula:

x = stereotypical straight men’s behaviour
y = stereotypical gay men’s behaviour

if b ≠ x, ∴ b = y.

Exercise: Prove b = y.

Answer: ?