Super sick sleep

I may have said this before, but one of the upsides to being sick is that you’re so fatigued that it’s easier to sleep. Usually.

I wish I could just get sick for a night when I have insomnia.

Old Man

Was planning on going out to a work party tonight but then I felt so tired I took a nap… that lasted a while. By the time I tried to will myself to get up — which took more time, especially after I fell asleep again — it was almost 9pm, and I didn’t feel like going anymore. Besides, I was so comfortable on the couch, my cat sitting nearby — how could I go out? I probably should’ve just gone to bed at 7pm like the old man that I am.

Falling asleep at work

Is that a sign that I shouldn’t be working and should be sleeping instead?

Waiting to fall asleep

Last night was potentially the longest I’ve been awake, waiting to fall asleep. Went to bed just before 9:30 and fell asleep sometime after 1am. I know the best procedure if you can’t fall asleep after 45 minutes is to read something, but I have such a lazy and stubborn mentality that I convince myself I’m close to falling asleep so I shouldn’t bother. I fool myself every time.

I seethe with jealousy at those, like my mom, who can fall asleep seemingly in minutes. Or my cat.

Sleep vs. writing

I wish I could choose sleep. Normally I would. But deadlines make me choose writing. So now I will be dead tomorrow. Yay.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

The latest book I had a hookup with.

Three days!

Wow, I haven’t posted in three days.  It’s probably because I went into hibernation to catch up on my lost hours of sleep.  And now I have nothing worthwhile to write about.  Go figure.

Alcohol makes me sleepy

All of those sleepless night — I should’ve just been drinking vodka.  Better than any sleeping pill or book.

Waking up in the middle of the night to a cow

Last night, I woke up to see Panda, a black and white kitty, strolling past me on my bed on the floor.  She looked oddly more like a cow than she usually did.  “That’s weird,” I thought.  Suddenly, I realized it wasn’t Panda.  It was Fat One, a brown kitty, dressed up in a cow costume, walking past me in the middle of the night.

Sleeping with a Stranger

Sleeping with a Stranger

Perhaps when I was around 7, 8 or possibly 9 years old, for reasons I do not recall, my family was not in the house for a few days.  They must have gone on a mini-vacation or something and I was either sick or didn’t want to go.  Whatever the reason, I found myself alone.  Except there was a stranger in the house as well: my father.

I had never been close to my father and currently have very few memories of him and I together, even fewer of them are good memories.  When my mother and my sisters left, because I would be sleeping alone, he told me that on the last day, I could come upstairs and spend the night with him in bed.  Naturally, I thought this to be a strange idea; I had never slept with my dad (or at least had no recollection of it) and he didn’t seem particularly lonely.  I didn’t even know if he was serious or not. I don’t even remember if my parents were, at the time, still sleeping in the same bed, but I doubt it.

For a few days, we minded our own business.  I probably didn’t see much of him, as usual, and the house must have been oddly quiet.  On the last day, I wandered up to his room with my pillow.  After a few minutes of getting ourselves ready for bed, I climbed in first, feeling awkward.  He turned off the light and crawled in next to me.

And for a while, neither of us moved.  I lay staring at the ceiling before closing my eyes but I couldn’t sleep on my back.  But as much as I wanted to move, I found myself paralyzed.  What if my dad didn’t like that?  What if he got annoyed at my moving?  Wouldn’t I be bothering him trying to sleep?  Eventually, I froze in that position for a long time, on the edge of the bed, until I willed myself to move quickly on my side when I sensed him moving at the same time, so that I wouldn’t be disturbing him.

I would repeat this maneouver several times that night, being extra careful not to wake the stranger sleeping next to me.