White Massed Sky

And old poem, from around 2005.

White Massed Sky

When I look to the sky,
I find my dreams, written in the clouds.
Lofty white masses
of water
Floating in the blueness.
A teddy bear!
He’s holding a lollipop,
A rabbit!
It has long, fuzzy ears.
I can almost see it twitching its nose.
A dog!
It looks content and strong.
A face!
It’s only a gun.

The gun shoots and I fall.
The fluffy white bullet strikes
my heart, and so many others,
while the clouds continue to float in the
blue sky.

Dream 5

Dream 5

As usual, I have no idea how this began, but I found myself in my old house, hiding from these Nazi soldiers who were patrolling the area.  Eventually, I found this general or some guy who was pretty high up in rank and he had a gun.  However, I had no weapon on me.

He shot me but I somehow was able to pause the scene — I think I said “Stop” or “Pause” or something — slowing down the bullet as it traveled for my head and altogether stopping the bullet as well as everything else happening around me.  With everything frozen in time, I repositioned the bullet so that it was facing the Nazi’s face and resumed the scene.  Everything sped up and returned to normal speed and the bullet his him in the face, I think in the cheek.  Blood gushed out and he screamed, but mostly what I was concerned about was that he was still alive and that he might try to shoot me again.  If so, I wasn’t sure I could freeze time like I just did.

And of course he did shoot at me again, as he was now on his side from the pain.  And again, I was able to slow down time and the bullet, reposition it towards his brain this time and then start everything up.  This time, it did hit him in the head and he appeared to be dead.  Immediately, I grabbed the gun away from him and, making sure he was definitely dead, attempted to shoot him a few more times.  But there didn’t seem to be any bullets left.  I swore there were at least two left and when I opened the gun up, I did see that there were two bullets left.  My sister Florence was there as well and she told me I had no bullets, but I knew I did.  So I tried to shoot him again, shooting and shooting to no avail.  I don’t know why.

Still not convinced that he was dead, my sister offered to burn his body.  While she doused him and a bunch of other random objects (I think a snake was in there too) with gasoline, I tried to light the bonfire with a lighter — not one of the little ones, but the big ones with a handle, like this one:

Except this one was a blue/green, the same one we have at home.  So I was trying to light it but again, it didn’t seem to work.  There wasn’t much of a spark and furthermore, what spark I did get from the lighter resulted in small flames in the bonfire.  Eventually, my sister lit a match or something and tossed it in there, helping to spread the fire.  I watched as the Nazi’s body and the rest of the junk lit up, but saw that his body wasn’t burning as much as everything else.  I told my sister to light his body up but she said it was fine, that I was paranoid and that he would be dead.

So I watched and watched and as the flames eventually died down, his body transformed itself into a black cat (or some sort of other small, black animal) and it ran out the door.  I remember feeling really angry at my sister for not listening to me and also the fact that this Nazi guy was still alive, albeit in a different form.

Dream

The stuff in bold are comments I’m making now that aren’t what I originally wrote down two years ago.

July 16, 2008

Dream

I think this all happened when I was at the swimming pool.  I don’t know which one because it didn’t look familiar.  I jumped into the pool and got out and walked around for a bit.  There was this small wooden box that someone had cruedly made and even though I didn’t look inside, I knew that was where ammunition/bullets were.

So somehow that goes into a hostage situation with me, Kem, and Lulu.  The evil guy (terrorist, I guess) kept switching faces/bodies, but we always knew who she/she was.  I had a gun pointed in my face several times (as did Lulu + Kem) and it was kinda scary actually.  The evil guy’s plan (he was Bob for a bit)(Note: I’m guessing the Bob I meant is the one that works at VFS in the Writing Program) was to kill a bunch of us (or maybe one) and then to shoot this building that he cruedly drew that had bullets of some kind.  He gave the gun to me a few times, to shoot at the building but I told him my aim was really crappy.

I remember him telling us he was going to kill one of the three of us.  He pointed the gun at Kem, and I didn’t want him to die.  So I wrapped my arms around him, trying to protect him.  He held onto me, close, which was really nice (It’s a hostage situation!  What do I say it’s “nice”?).  It felt right even though I could possibly die, I didn’t care because it was Kem.

Eventually, perspectives changed to that of the evil gun aiming the gun around the room.

There may have been something between Lulu (?) that I don’t remember.

Evil guy aimed the gun at the building labeled bullets (eh?), and I didn’t understand (yeah, I don’t either).  Lulu explained how it was something about hexagons and stuff even though I probably wouldn’t understand it in real life, I understood it in my dream.  She said how if evil guy shot at the building, ice/diamonds would fall out and fall on people below.  Just as I realized this, he fired.

I watched as pieces of ice fell… on top of me.  I was on a bed, and I grabbed a pillow to shield myself.  The ice hit the pillow and I was safe.  I looked around the room and saw that Lulu was fine but that Kem was gone.  I saw the shape of his body underneath the covers and when I pulled them back, he lay there, silent.  There was a trickle of blood running down the side of his head.

I thought he was dead.  He definitely looked dead.

I freaked out.  I started crying and screaming a little, thinking the bullet hit him before it hit the building.

I was so upset, more than I’ve ever been in both real life as well as my dreams.

He suddenly stirred and I realized he wasn’t dead, which overwhelmed me.  I was so incredibly happy, more than I’ve ever been in both real life as well as my dreams.

A bit later (probably some more stuff happened), I had the gun.  I don’t remember how I got it, but the evil guy was now Mahea (then, what would’ve been my 5 year old cousin) and I pointed the gun at her face, trying to make her feel how scary it was to have a gun in the face.  She was scared.  That made me happy.  The police or some other people took her away.

I waved Kem over, saying we had to get going to some place.  He stood a few feet away from me, bathed in a sort of white light.  He smiled at me, I think.  Or maybe he just stood there staring at me.

End

I don’t remember this dream at all, but now it’s got me thinking…