The Geography of Pluto

For the record, I wanted to like this book. I really did. I even had it on my list of books to read because I thought it sounded interesting. But alas…

It’s not a particularly badly written book. It’s just really boring, and I was unable to really connect with the narrator and his constant reminiscing of the past, nor have I ever lived in Montreal (though I can certainly see how a Montrealer would appreciate all the references). I also found it grating how every guy was introduced as “beautiful.” Really? Couldn’t use any other adjectives?

Anyway, I only managed to get about halfway before I gave up (I nearly gave up on several occasions but pressed on because the book just happened to be there and I needed something to read), so that’s why I cropped the photo to half the book.

This was the first book in recent memory I’ve given up on. Sigh.

Watch my short film!

And please leave a comment on YouTube. I’m sad it’s not getting more views. 😦

The Book of Boy Trouble

Comics don’t necessarily equate to graphic novels, which was the next genre on my list of books, but I wanted to read something a little different so I plucked this from my Later list and gave it a go. I was surprised that most of them were very short — which is why they’re comics, duh — but some of them are so short that they don’t really have (satisfying) endings. Anyway, for what it’s worth, it was still an interesting read, especially since there aren’t a lot of older gay comics out there.

Also, you get to see my bedroom, and all the shit on the walls too.

Damn my back

It makes me want to go soak myself in a hot tub, but there aren’t any open this late except… bathhouses. Ugh. Damn you, back pain.

On the outside

I’ve always considered myself to be part of the gay community. I read Xtra! and followed the news. I joined local organizations and volunteered. I walked up and down Davie Street, among my people.

But for many years now, I’ve constantly felt invisible, ignored, and degraded by the same community. As sad and hurt as I was, I still read Xtra! hoping for the day there’d be an article about sexual racism. I vainly wished to be acknowledged as an important part of the community.

It never really happened. (and the sexual racism article definitely never happened)

Yet, I still had hope that they’d take notice to all this.

Tonight, at the Davie Street Block Party, I realized something. As I looked at all the different faces and people in their own little groups and cliques, I couldn’t help but feel it was futile trying to include myself in a community that seemed like they didn’t want me. It’s like being the kid at school who constantly tries to hang out with another group of kids and says something like, “Hey, guys! What’re we playing today?” The other kids stare, then all hang out together. But the other kid doesn’t get the hint.

Maybe all these years, I’ve been missing the hint, that I’m not welcome. Maybe it’s better I not tell myself I’m a part of this community, that I’m just some gay guy living in Vancouver.

Porcupine of Truth

Another fun novel from one of my favourite YA writers. Probably my least favourite book he’s written, but that’s not really saying much since Mr. Konigsberg has written some fantastic books already (Openly Straight is definitely in my top five best YA gay themed novels). I also felt like Carson, the main character, came off as more of a thirteen year old than seventeen and it bugged me. Still, an enjoyable read with plenty of humour throughout and clearly Konigsberg did his research on the cities on the road trip. Looking forward to his next book already!

That awkward moment

when someone you know replies to your Craigslist sex ad.

Traumatic bathhouse story!

Want to read a traumatic true story about my visit to a gay bathhouse? More like who wouldn’t! My memoir piece, “Underworld”, has been published in Plenitude (yay!) and is available to read online.

Here it is! http://plenitudemagazine.ca/creative-non-fiction-underworld/  If you have any thoughts, I’d love to hear them!

I want to make another film

I’m thinking of making a documentary short about racism in the gay community. God knows it’s an intrinsic problem that most don’t even see as a problem. I have some ideas of how to proceed and what to film, but the time and effort that’ll go into making it is already daunting to me (as someone who has previously made documentary shorts).

Oh, and a budget would be nice but we all know the chance of that happening is pretty much impossible.

Uninteresting sex

Went to a bathhouse yesterday and found myself disinterested in everything around me, which I thought was interesting. I wonder if it was because I wasn’t in the right mindset (read: horny) to enjoy getting groped by strangers in the dark and listening to guys blow each other in the steam room. Maybe I’m just over this gay hookup sex thing. (In which case, hooray!)