30 Day Challenge: Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral

3 05 2011

A few years ago, my sister told me that she wanted Staind’s “Epiphany” to play at her funeral and while it’s a strange thing to ask of a 15 year old, I didn’t really question it.  I’m not sure if it at all made me think about what song to play at my funeral, but I never really found “the song.”  For a while, I thought it might be an S Club 7 song just because funerals are so dull and I thought it would be a fun way to remember me.  Obviously (maybe not so obvious to some), I grew out of my S Club 7 phase.

[I will finish this tomorrow.  Had a crazy day today.]

Stop All the Clocks, Cut Off the Telephone

10 09 2010

I realized while going to bed last night that I didn’t post anything yesterday.  A couple days ago, I found out that a friend and a former classmate of mine from Vancouver Film School took his own life last weekend.  I’ve never had anyone close to me die before so this was a strange experience for me.  He helped me look at a short script I wrote a year ago, which I ultimately directed and produced (Stay) and I was recently thinking about getting his feedback on another script I was working on.

Everything now is weird.  It’s been a few days but when I first found out, I felt strange and out of place with everything, like I was glass, wobbling on a table but not quite falling down.  I thought about all the times I had with him and how they were all even more special and how we’ll never have those moments or create new ones again.

And I didn’t know what to post because I thought I should post something in memory of him, but I wasn’t inspired to write anything.  So just a few minutes ago, I remembered a poem I read back in high school and then in college a few semesters back about a death in someone’s life.

This is dedicated to Jonathan Freedman, who, even though I didn’t know super well, was fantastic in every way.

Stop All the Clocks, Cut Off the Telephone
By W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

10 Defining Moments of My Life (so far) — #10: Scott

15 05 2010

10.  Number 10.  The only really sweet on one this screwed up list.  I had met Scott 2 months ago on an online gay youth site.  I remember seeing his picture and immediately realizing there was something special about him.  It was just one of those moments when you see something in someone when you don’t even know them.  Scott lives in Kentucky and goes to Mortuary school (for funeral directors) in Indiana.  We sent messages for a couple months, and one day, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.  We instant messaged each other, and I told him what was going on.  He told me he “had a thing for me” for a while, which I was completely taken aback, seeing as how I had never been in any kind of relationship before.  I went as far as printing out a cute picture of him and putting him in my wallet, smiling every time I saw it.  In the picture, he’s wearing a green and white striped shirt and he has this grin that makes me feel like he’s standing inches away, instead of miles, giving me an honest hug.  Needless to say, those limited days were the happiest I had ever felt.  Then, 2 weeks and 5 days later, it was over.  He broke up with me over a simple misunderstanding and even after everything got sorted out and I finally knew what was going on, we didn’t get back together.  And I still have that picture in my wallet today.  It still makes me smile when I look at it.