Aug. 25, 2015

25 08 2015

I want to start writing a journal but the thought of physically writing it is seems so lugubrious that I thought I might try to type it out on my blog. If things get too personal, I may have to resort to writing in my real journal. So now we start…

Worked this morning at 9am. Got to work a minute or two late, but no one came to open the door after knocking several times. Finally went around to the side of the building to see if anyone was in and saw a co-worker talking with someone sitting down at a desk. Felt disrespected, like they were ignoring me on purpose (for all I know, they could’ve been). Knocked louder and someone finally came.

Everything was fine as usual for a while. Two kids came in and had very loud indoor voices. The grandma for one of them was there and was constantly telling them to be quiet and not talk so loudly but they completely ignored her. I went over and told them to keep it down. Which of course they didn’t. But the thing is, they were completely oblivious to the fact that their conversational voices were too loud. No self-awareness. And even when patrons shushed them, they still continued. I’m not sure they even know how to be quiet.

One lady came up to me and told me they were “not reading” and were “just playing around”. I told her I had talked to them already but that they don’t have to be reading to be in the library, and that since the library is a public place — and that we have games that kids can play — they are allowed to be in here. I went over again to tell them to keep it down, and when they saw me, one of them looked at me and said, “Be quiet. I know.” It still continued.

When my hour on desk was up, I told my co-worker about the kids, who had now moved over to the adult/general area and were bothering adults on the computer stations. She told me the library doesn’t have a real policy for noisy kids, but that we tell them to keep it down ourselves and if they’re still noisy and/or a patron complains, we get the librarian to come and shush them. I told her someone complained to me earlier when the kids were in the kids’ area and she told me to get the librarian, since he knows the kids (who are regulars). I watched him tell the kids to shut up (nicely).

Was planning on catching Phoenix at the Rio theatre tonight at 7pm. Wanted to use my Groupon but needed someone to go with me. Everyone seemed to be busy (Jacky: kickboxing; Curtis: saying goodbye to a friend; Jord: multiple excuses that came off as trying to find some sort of excuse to say no while also conveniently mentioning his boyfriend), out of town (John), unresponsive (Jay, Melissa, Miles), or just straight up didn’t want to go (Philip: apparently not in the mood for a German film, whatever that means). This is why I don’t like doing things with people. You can’t rely on them. The only person I can rely on is my cat. I was really disappointed.

I finished dinner late-ish so I would’ve been late getting in to the theatre anyway. Felt so bummed I wanted to stay home like a hermit for the week but I signed up to work a whole bunch so I can’t. Watched more episodes of Inside Amy Schumer and made popcorn and devoured it like I was actually watching a movie. Who needs friends when you can sit at home for hours in front of your computer and then blog about it?

Anyone nice in Austin, Texas?

27 08 2014

It’d be cool to hang out with someone while I’m in Austin next month but I’m not sure to go about looking for someone who is sane. I know someone who lives in Dallas, but he doesn’t seem to be responding to my messages, so I’m not sure what to do. There’s Craigslist and Jackd and between those two, Jackd might be something to try. Any other suggestions?


26 01 2014


I saw you
or someone with your mask
on the bus
your eyes, honing in for an empty seat
skim past mine staring at you.
You seem older, face pudgier
off the bus–
I traced your footprints
kept an eye on your tall head above heads in the crowd
my mind sending out telepathic messages for you to swivel around
for you to launch a familiar hug onto me and something along the lines of,
“I haven’t seen you in so long! How are you?”
Someone pulls your sleeve into a corner
to meet with another friend
and a smile appears on your face like one I remember
your open hand open like a hug to this new friend
And i walk past you, thinking
aren’t we such good friends.

Web Therapy

10 06 2011

I have about 13 minutes before midnight and again, I’ve left this to the last minute, so I’ll try to be brief.

Why have I not watched this web series sooner?  Web Therapy stars Lisa Kudrow a.k.a. Phoebe from Friends.  She’s a therapist who has 3 minute therapy sessions with clients since she thinks a regular 50 minute session’s most important part is the beginning 3 minutes and can thus be condensed.  I believe she and Don Roos, the regular director of the series, have a general story laid out each episode and all the dialogue between Fiona Wallice, the therapist, and her clients, who are all guest stars including Courtney Cox, Jane Lynch, and I think I saw Meryl Streep in there, is all improvised.

The show is hilarious!  I can’t really say it — you’d have to watch it for yourself.  I just started watching today, and I can’t stop watching, even though I should probably be reading Nights at the Circus for English Lit class on Monday…. oh well.  Time well wasted.

Watch all the episodes of Web Therapy at L Studio:

Year End

31 12 2010

This is more for me than anything.  I know reading about my life isn’t the most exciting thing (like many people), but I haven’t written a long personal post in a while.

Fourty-nine minutes to midnight and I’m sitting at my computer, listening to Keane and thinking about how everything’s gone this past year, as I’m sure most people have done sometime today.  I remember last year at around the same time (or was it 2 years ago?), typing up a summary of everything that had happened to me, and noting that I had quite the depressing year overall.

Compared to a year (possibly two), I feel like I am now in a secure place in life; I’m (still) going to school, learning things I love to learn about; I have a fantastic, sweet, and utterly adorable boyfriend; I directed a short script I wrote last year in the summer, which was a great, fun experience; met some unforgettable people whom I continue to influence my life and the creative things I do; finished my demo cd and gave them to people who seemed to want them; lost a former classmate of mine, which was an experience I hope to never feel again (oh, how naive that sounds…); won a $200 gift certificate to Oakridge Mall which I then spent buying food and supplies, donating them to Covenant House.  This is one of the first years I ran fondly recall as a good one, one that I will remember.

I’m glad and thankful to have such an amazing group of friends, who support all my creative endeavours and don’t complain (much) when I make them help me with things I need.  I’m thankful to have good relations (that sounds so formal) with my family and not loathe any of them — well, my immediate family, anyway.  I’m so thankful to be able to express all the things I’m creative at with the world and not have to feel like I’m supressing them in any way.  The only real complaint about this year is how I still feel the lack of impact of everything I do while others seemingly have an easier time.  I have a small group of friends, yes, but things like getting help with my donation campaign really showed me how little/hard it is, at least for me, to make people care/be aware of stuff that I do.  I’ll log on to facebook and I’ll see friends who have a status update with dozens of friends commenting on it, which, honestly, kinda makes me jealous.  It’s not that I want dozens of people commenting on my status, but what I’m trying to say is that I wish more people would take notice of my music (especially), my writing, my films… all that sorta stuff.  Anyway.  I realize it’s hard to make people care and life is not a popularity contest, though I want to feel somewhat popular every now and then, at least with what I do.  That’s not too much to ask for, is it?

Twenty-one minutes to midnight and I’m still typing.  New Year’s resolutions?  Not really.  I set up a blog at the very beginning of this year and I think it’s been quite the success.  It’s sort of gotten me to write a bit more, and for a while in the summer, I posted every single day for more than a month, which I’m very, very pleased with.  In the new year, I suppose I could write more on my blog and in general.  I also want to finish recording some songs, which I’ve been putting off because of my activity with films and stuff for school.  A continuation of my Saturday Morning Documentary series is a definite go and I have to force myself to write more about them, since it’s been a while.  Yup.  That’s about it.

After a truly shitty year, thank you 2010 for making me believe that the future isn’t just full of crap.  I owe you one.

Something feels wrong with me when I say that I feel 2011 is going to be a good year.  Optimism is strange.

Feliz Nuevo Año!



10 Defining Moments of My Life (so far) — #4: Coming Out

26 04 2010

4.  August 23, 2003.  During the summer of Grade 9 year at high school, I was hanging out with two of my best friends.  I had pre-planned to finally come out to them.  After lots of dodging the subject, we finally settled beneath the shade of a great, maple tree.  I was incredibly nervous and scared that I made my friends guess it.  I told them I wanted to tell them something, that I liked someone in our grade.  The two of them were running through the list of girls in our grade, but I kept saying that they were guessing the wrong type of people, to which they asked, “So what?  You want us to list ugly people?!”  One of them must’ve caught on because she asked jokingly, “Do you like men?” and with my red cap covering my face because I was so completely embarrassed and afraid, I said, “Yes.”  (A brief amount of silence followed, which I learned two years later that during this time, one of my friends was apparently stuffing her mouth with bread to keep from laughing.)