Meaningless Conversations

A variation on my short story Conversations with a Ghost.  This was written during my VFS year, again for Style class in which we had to take the short story we had written and develop it into a different kind of writing — cereal box information, travel brochures, flyers… any kind of other medium that has writing on it.  I chose to do mine in a police report format and it was definitely an interesting process.

Meaningless Conversations

OFFICIAL POLICE TRANSCRIPT

1  Jeremy West Interview
2
3  Detective:  What’s your name?
4
5  West: Jeremy West.
6
7  Detective:  Do you know why you’re here?
8
9  West: I can’t imagine why, no.
10
11  Detective:  We found the body of a Sean Lee.  Did you know him?
12
13  West: Yes.
14
15  Detective: How?
16
17  West: We go…went to the same high school together.
18
19  Detective: Were you a close friend?
20
21  West: No, not really.  I liked him, though.
22
23  Detective: What do you mean?
24
25  West: Well, I just thought he was a nice guy.  Good-looking too.
26
27  Detective:  Okay.  Did you ever talk to him?
28
29  West: No.  I was too shy.
30
31  Detective:  Why was that?
32
33  West:  I was… intimidated by him, I guess.
34
35  Detective:  What was so intimidating about him?
36
37  West: I don’t know.  He was just… one of the popular guys around school.  He had
38  had bunches of girlfriends, he was on a bunch of teams.  You know, your typical jock
39  kinda guy.  But…
40
41  Detective:  But what?
42
43  West:  He also had this mysterious vibe to him.  Even at such a distance, I could tell
44  that he wasn’t like all the other guys that he hung out with.
45
46  Detective:  What do you mean by ‘vibe’?
47
48  West: I’m not sure.  I just felt he was… different.
49
50  Detective: Could it be because of his looks, like you mentioned?
51
52  West: No, that’s not what I meant.  Even though he didn’t get the best grades, I could
53  tell he was smart.
54
55  Detective: Uh huh.  You watched him often?
56
57  West: Sort of.  Every now and then.
58
59  Detective: You do anything to him?
60
61  West: I wrote things and put it in his locker a few times.
62
63  Detective: What did you write?  Death threats?
64
65  West: No.  Just little poems and things.
66
67  Detective: Why did you do that?
68
69  West: I told you, I’m shy.  If I couldn’t tell him things in person, I’d just come up
70  with other ways.
71
72  Detective: Right.  Did he know it was from you?
73
74  West: No.  I never wrote my name on any of it, and I only delivered my notes when
75  no one was around.
76
77  Detective: I bet you hid around a corner to watch his reaction when he found them.
78
79 West: You’d think that, but no, I never did.
80
81  Detective: Why not?
82
83  West: Because if he thought it was creepy or whatever, I didn’t want to know that.
84
85  Detective: Ah, so the old ‘ignorance is bliss’ thing, eh?
86
87  West: Yeah, I guess so.
88
89  Detective: You do any other sorts of crazy things to get his attention?
90
91  West: Well, I did used to play this game—
92
93  Detective: What?  What kind of game was this?
94
95  West: It was perfectly harmless.
96
97  Detective: Can you explain this ‘game’ to me?
98
99  West: Sure.  If I was on a bus with an empty seat across from me, I would just
100  pretend that Sean was right there, sitting across from me, and we would converse.
101
102  Detective: So you’re telling me that because you’re too shy to talk to him in person 103  you just… make him up?
104
West: Yes.105
106  Detective: That’s really screwed up.
107
108  West: But it was the only way.
109
110  Detective: So… what did you guys talk about?
111
112  West: Basically, I’d just tell him everything I could never tell him in person.
113  Sometimes I would pretend he was my boyfriend.
114
115 Detective: Now that is screwed up.
116
117  West: Like I said, it was the only way.
118
119  Detective:  What kind of things did you guys talk about?  Can you remember any
120  conversation?
121
122  West: Just little things.  There was this one time when I was having a bad day and he
123  was there, making me feel better.  He said things like, ‘Hey, Jeremy, I’m here now.
124  Everything’s alright.’  And then there was this one time…”
125
126  Detective: What happened that time?
127
128  West:  Well, it started off just like any other time.  I had this deal with my friend to
129  ask someone out in a week, and I talked to Sean about it.
130
131  Detective: And then what?
132
133  West: And then… things got a little out of hand.  He became hostile and attacked
134  me.
135
136  Detective: You mean, physically?
137
138  West: No, verbally.  Words can be powerful things.
139
140  Detective: What did he say to you?
141
142  West: He told me that I was too much of a coward to talk to me, and because of that,
143  I had to resort to fantasizing conversations with him.
144
145  Detective: But that’s the truth.
146
147  West: Yeah, but when I’m playing this game, I don’t want to be reminded of reality.
148
149  Detective: I see.  Is that all he said to you?
150
151  West: He told me no matter what I do, no matter how hard I’d try, I would never be
152  able to get over him.
153
154  Detective: That’s harsh.
155
156 West: Yes.
157
158  Detective: How did this happen in your own fantasy?
159
160  West: I don’t know.  I just… lost control.
161
162  Detective: And what happened after that?
163
164  West: I snapped out of it, cried a little.
165
166  Detective: You were crying because this game?
167
168  West: Yes.
169
170  Detective: I guess words can be powerful.
171
172  West: Yes.
173
174  Detective: So what happened after that?
175
176  West: Nothing much.  Some fat lady in a hideous outfit started talking to me.
177
178  Detective: [laughs]  What did she say to you?
179
180  West: She just offered me a Kleenex and then…
181
182  Detective: And then what?
183
184  West: And then I swear her face melded with Sean’s face when she said the word
185  ‘Never’.
186
187  Detective: Okay.
188
189  West: And that was then I knew I needed to kill him.  To kill Sean.
190
191  Detective: Are you confessing to the murder of Sean Lee?
192
193  West: Yes.
194
195  Detective: Why?
196
197  West: Because I feel better about it, saying the words; knowing he’s really gone.
198
199  Detective: You realize that you’ve only killed him in your head, right?
200
201  West: Yes.
202
203  Detective: And you realize that this entire conversation is also in your head?
204
205  West: Yes.
206
207  Detective: So why are you doing this?
208
209  West: To make things seem more real, I suppose.
210
211  Detective: I’ll make things more real for you, then.  You’re going to wake up after I
212  count down.
213
214  It’s been nice talking to you.
215
216  Detective: 5…4…3…2…1…

END OF TRANSCRIPT

Conversations With a Ghost

The original short story which was then adapted into On the Bus, which was produced and filmed in my last term at Vancouver Film School.  (the video at the bottom)  There are clear differences between the short story and the film.  Which do you like better?

I wrote this story back in high school after a similar experience I had.  I won’t go into the details right now but if you’re wondering, I don’t converse with ghosts anymore.

Conversations With a Ghost

I sit there, dumbly, my mind pushing itself to think of an answer.  Who should I ask out?  I had only a few more days ’till the bet was up with my friend.

“You could ask me.”  I recognize that voice.  It’s him again, sitting across from me, wearing what I last saw him wear; a baseball cap turned backwards, a casual sweatshirt and jeans, topped off with glasses that actually make him look semi-smart.

“Why would I do that?”  My voice shows a possible foreshadowing of anger.

“Because you like me.  You’ve always liked me, since the moment you saw me.”  He smiles, which I interpret to be an evil smile, and tilts his head slightly to one side.

“Yeah, so what?  I’m scared.  I’m scared that you’ll reject me.  Why in hell would anyone want that?”  The anger is rising.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“How?  What’s this based on?”

“On the fact that most times when I happen to see you in the halls, some slut is hanging off of you, like a dead animal.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.  We’re just friends.”

“Oh, I’ve heard that before.”

“Did you ever stop to think that it might be true?  Why would I lie to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know; because you keep breaking my heart, dammit!  You’re the only guy I haven’t ever really gotten over.”

“I’m sorry about that.  I can’t help that I’m so good looking.”

“Shut up.  That’s not helping.”

“What do you want me to say?  ‘Oh Jeremy, I’ve been in love with you too and I’ve been waiting 4 years for you to tell me!  Let’s get married and ride off into the sunset!'”  He laughs (loudly, I might add).  I silently fume to myself.

“You have no idea what it’s like when you see someone you love and know you won’t ever end up with them, but you still want them to be with you.  You have no idea how sad I am when I see you, the only boy I’ve ever really fallen in love with.  You just don’t get it do you?”  By this time, depression has replaced my rage.

He leans forward in his seat, closing the gap between our faces.  The complexion on his face is hard to read.  I expect him to say something comforting.

“Why are you doing this to yourself, Jeremy?  You say you like me and stuff but you’re too scared to talk to me because you’re afraid I’ll reject you.  What have you got to lose by talking to me?”

“Everything, including my life.”

“You know what the most pitiable part of this whole thing is?”  He leans back against the seat, his arm draped across the adjacent seat, trying to look laid-back.  I already know what he’s going to do and begin to brace for the worst.

“The saddest thing about this is that you have to make me up to talk to you.  I’m part of your stupid little fantasy.  You make me say whatever you want to make you feel better…

“Shut up.  Stop it now.”

“…and it works, yet when the real me comes strolling along, you might as well have jumped in a ditch or something…

“Shut up right now.  I mean it, Sean.”

“…because you’re just too shy to talk to me.  Now that is just sad.”

“You don’t know me.  You don’t know me!”

“Oh, I know you alright.  But do you wanna know something really pathetic?”

At this point, I can’t even talk anymore.

“No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you are never ever going to get over me.  Never.”  He smiles that evil smile again.  I hate that one.

I’ve had enough of this charade.

“Stop it!  Go away!  Leave me alone!”  I shut my eyes tightly.

For a few seconds, I don’t hear anymore from him.  When I open my eyes, a fat woman in an ugly pink muumuu is sitting in his seat.  I can feel her studying me, which makes me feel like a lab rat.

“Are you okay, dearie?”  She pulls out a small tissue from her matching ugly purse.  It is not until now that I feel the warm streaks of tears on my face.  I had been crying, during my own fantasy where I was in control, or at least thought I was.

I tell her I am fine and take the delicate paper from her to wipe my eyes.

“I remember when I was in high school, so many memories…” her voice continues.

Stop talking to me!  And get some new clothes while you’re at it! my mind screams.

“…and bad ones, too.  I don’t think I’ll ever get over those ones…”

I glance up at her, my entire body in shock.  Her face slowly morphs into Sean’s as they both finish the last word simultaneously: “Never.”