Constant inspiration

I watch some TV series and I get inspired to write and work on my pilot. I go to the queer film festival and I watch The Way He Looks and I get inspired to do another film. I watch the Emmys and I get inspired to pursue writing and making a web series. There’s so much I want to do, so much I want to write, so much inspiration out there that it can be difficult to try and manage it all. I feel like I want to do it all — my memoir, my picture book, my TV pilot — but I know being so diverse can also be a negative thing. I’ve always been one to want to do a slew of different things, bounding from one thing to the next. I don’t think I can be a master at everything, obviously, but I can try. Or at least try it all.

Winning an Emmy

A few nights ago, I had a dream I was at the Emmys, which was strangely attended by all of two rows of people, mostly children. I had been nominated for an award, and I knew I was going to win. So when they called my name, I was delighted, grinning and waving like a madman on my way up to the stage, which was only feet away. With the Emmy in my hand, I thanked the cast and crew, and probably a whole bunch of other people for helping me on my journey to win the award for Best Actor in a TV movie.

Later, I sat a couple seats away from Jennifer Hudson, who had also won an award (I think we were in the same movie?) and some little girl next to me was playing with her stockings and declaring to everyone  how cool they were and that we should all feel them. So I felt Ms. Hudson’s stockings, and they were indeed very cool– thicker than pantyhose, yet not ugly or uncomfortable.

When I woke up, I thought it was strange I would ever win an award for acting. Not that I’m a bad actor or anything, but I never really thought about it. Now I pretend that I won an Emmy for Writing, which is helping motivate me to keep writing and develop my TV series.

Let’s see if my dream will ever come true. Acting or writing. Or any award, really.