Saw the Hunger Games!

28 03 2012

What a nerve-inducing movie.  I was on edge in the first hour of the film, super tense from the atmosphere and the dread of the upcoming killing.  Quite a good movie, I must say, and I do think it did the novel justice.  It holds up as a film on its own right quite well too.

Anyway, I gotta start on my Canadian Lit. essay so not much writing from me today.  Coincidentally, I did have a dream last night where I was in my old house and my family was forced to kill each other.  I was told a prophecy that I would kill everyone and win a big prize… I’ll write the details later and keep you in suspense about what happened.  🙂

Fiery archangel

27 03 2012

March 27th, 2012


It was all over the news: superheroes: they existed after all!  And by superheroes, I mean like X-Men.  They had powers and everything and everyone was really curious about who these people were.  Somehow, I found myself in my elementary school’s gymnasium where two or three other people sat on stools and were being interviewed.  Someone thrusted me onto the last stool and as they talked (I don’t remember about what), I didn’t know what to do.  They all talked in a row and when it got to me, I said to them and the small audience gathered in front of us, “If I knew more about the subject I would say something but I don’t.  Excuse me.”  I promptly left the building.

Sometime before the interview, I figured out I had powers.  I was going around throwing fireballs from my hand– created by saying, “Fireball!” and then two fiery orbs would appear in my palms, ready to be thrown– at some sort of enemy.  Now freed from the gym, I ran a bit then jumped.  My large, white wings filled the sky and I was airborne, clearing fence after fence.  Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t go very high (as I always find myself limited in my dreams like that), and realized there was someone chasing me; not an enemy, but more of an annoying civilian.  I tried to fly away and it appeared I was going at a decent speed but I suppose not because I could always hear his voice not very far behind me.  I had this image of giving up and hiding myself in a pile of blankets and pillows, only to be discovered by that annoying guy, and I think it actually did happen.  Add in some more scenes of me flying around to houses and trying to throw some more fireballs around and that’s about it.

I wish I were an X-Men.  Or rather, I wish I had powers.


24 03 2012

March 23rd, 2012

The same night I had the Mao dream, I had this one after.


There is an alien in the house, and no one seems to care.  And by alien, I mean the alien fromAlien– the big, black, acid-spitting, chest cavity-exploding alien.  I’m trying to block it from entering the kitchen since my mom, dad, and sister are in there as well.  They’re all talking amongst themselves, seemingly oblivious to the fact that there is a giant monster trying to barge into their kitchen, even when I yell at them to help me push the door since I can’t hold the thing off forever.  Just after I say this, it pushes its way in, and I kind of sigh, resigned, and run downstairs to safety.  I hear my family finally alarmed but obviously it’s too late.  As I run downstairs, I catch a glimpse of the black thing charging in, presumably killing my parents, then following my sister downstairs (and thus, following me too).  I’m about to lock the bathroom door and hop out the window and run for my life when I hear my sister behind me.  Should I lock the door and let my sister die and buy myself more time or should I wait for her even though she did absolutely nothing upstairs?  I ultimately decide to wait for her before locking the door.  She hops out the window first and I follow.  However, she turns left and heads into the backyard while I go right and go out the front yard.  I wonder who the alien is going to follow and hope it’s not me…

Then I woke up, terrified, nonetheless, and unable to fall back asleep for a while.

Mao hates me

23 03 2012

March 23, 2012


As usual, not sure how it began.  I found myself with a whole bunch of other people bagging popcorn out of Fifth Ave’s bags in this giant, multi-sided popcorn popper.  The kernels weren’t popping correctly, however, because the water was “cold” (although it takes no water to actually make popcorn).  So we got half-popped kernels and there was a lot of people waiting or something.  Anyway, eventually it got going, and I “knew” was supposed to deliver the popcorn to my friend Kaori, who was sitting at a nearby table.  When I walked over, G. was sitting beside her.  He was a zombie: full of wounds, flesh hanging off his body, torn clothes, gashes everywhere, dead eyes.  I kind of stared at him a bit, then gave her the popcorn and returned to the popper.  I filled another bag (with some difficulty), and when I turned to go back to her, G. was there, no longer a zombie.  He was wearing his red hoodie that I remember him wearing so much.  We stood so close together that our noses touched, and he said sonething about kissing him.  We didn’t kiss though.

Eventually, the popcorn was done and there was this strange pile of DVDs in the shape of a coffee table that, every few seconds or so, would emit a burst of flames.  The DVDs create a tunnel that, coincidentally, is also where the fire explodes out from.  People standing around me are too afraid to crawl into the pile of DVDs to get some sort of thing inside a DVD, but I have no fear– I crawl in quickly and then quickly hide behind a pile of movies before I get incinerated by the next blast of fire.  I find the DVD everyone is going crazy for, and open it.  There’s a keychain with a mini baseball on it.  It is only then that I realize everyone is standing around me, towering over me as I’m still on the ground.  I guess the coffee table-DVDs wasn’t exactly closed off.  So I stand up with the baseball keychain, and people start “ooh”ing and “ahh”ing, saying it’s so special and what an honour and all that.  I still have no idea what it means.  Then my co-worker Julie comes by and someone must’ve said it was for her because the next thing I know, she’s smiling like a madman and super excited.  She says that this guy, whose name I forget, gave it to her before he died because he created the TV showXenaand wanted her to be Xena.  Julie gives me a hug and says how thankful she is.

Julie starts skipping away, excited, when I realize there are bad guys coming.  Suddenly, we’re all running for our lives.  I run in Julie’s direction, telling her to run away, and she does, except now they’re chasing me (naturally).  I run down Victoria Drive a bit, then turn around and I see who’s chasing me: Mao Zhe Dong, complete with Communist uniform.  He, along with a bunch of other people dressed in black, are getting closer and closer.  I find myself on this hoverboard thing that’s probably no bigger than a plate and I’m trying to float away, but of course it goes a sloth’s pace.  There’s a group of people in front of me that I know are Mao’s cronies, and I somehow turn them into popcorn.  When Mao and his army stampede on the popcorn, I yell to Mao, “Do you know what you just did?”, then I try to turn the popcorn back into his people, so that he’ll see he killed his own people.  Can’t remember if it worked or not.

I get to this open field and Mao is pretty much right behind me.  He starts attacking me, as I tell him it will be futile to attack since I can fly up to the clouds and evade him, but it doesn’t happen.  I can’t go higher, which is really annoying.  I think they start throwing books at me.  It all suddenly became this game because this one woman starts complaining loudly that one of her books hit me when in fact it didn’t.  I tell her that I would know if the book hit me or not and that she’s dumb.  Suddenly (again), I’m in this house with two women throwing books at me.  At first the books are orange; then, after they’re thrown, they turn into a teal colour, and after a while, the book falls apart and they start throwing new orange books again.  They do this for a while, and actually, the books are sort of alive themselves.  They manage to throw one that lands in a wardrobe.  It flutters around inside for a bit, and I go over on my hoverboard plate and lock the door so it can’t get out.  The women don’t have any other books to use (I guess they are restricted to throwing one book at a time).  After some exchange of words, I somehow leave the house and I’m back in the real world.

Now do you understand?

11 01 2012

Eyes bloodshot, you were crying more than I could ever possibly imagine.  No, to imagine would be to have some ground of reality.  But this… required dreaming– a different plane of existence altogether.  Tears ran down your face as you stared at me with pained eyes.

“Now do you understand?  Now do you feel what I’ve felt?” I asked.  It was supposed to make me feel good, for you to experience the utter devastation and pain I went through only recently.  You turned away, blending with the silence around you, and it was then that I realized I didn’t feel good that you were feeling bad.  I felt sad for you.  I pitied you– that you had to go through this, to be haunted by the ghost of yesterday, to feel jabs every time you saw something that reminded me of you and how you lost me– I pitied you because I knew it was one of the worst things one could feel.

Your heart was breaking, and I watched it do so.  I watched it and mine broke for you.

I think I really do have PMS

9 12 2011

Not just when I’m awake but when I’m sleeping too, apparently.

Dream– Dec. 8th

There were multiple parts to the dream, but here’s the main part which I remember.  I was in a restaurant, dining alone and feeling pretty sad.  There was a table of three women sitting in front of me, having a great time, from what I could see, and that kind of made me sad too.  I got up and went to the bathroom.

Although I was sitting in a stall (I guess I didn’t need to pee?), I found I couldn’t properly close the stall door (which is a common thing in my dreams — being unable to close doors).  I heard some people’s voices and saw G. there, with someone else.  Not knowing what to do, I got up and went to meet them.  I said hi to G., and asked what he was doing there.  He said he was dining with his aunt.  His “friend” had one of those “Hi, my name is _____” sticker name tags and I saw that he was a volunteer or possibly a worker at a local gay organization.  G. explained they were friends but I could clearly see that they weren’t (ie. touching each other and being semi-romantic right in front of me).  I felt terrible and awkward so I left the bathroom and sat down at my table and started eating again.  I think I was eating a salad.  Anyway, I was absolutely miserable after that encounter and was trying my best not cry but I ended up bawling while I was eating.  When I looked up, the three women sitting in front of my having a good time were looking my way, and I wished one of them would come and sit with me so I wouldn’t feel so alone and bad.

None of them moved.

Now publicly humiliated, I ran out of the restaurant and back home, where I sprinted past my questioning mother and proceeded to bawl my eyes out on my bed, as she asked me again and again what happened.

That was basically it.  It makes me sad just thinking about it now.

Just a few more days before my PMS goes away and I stop thinking about him for another month.


Dream 14

18 08 2011

Since I didn’t watch a film last night, here’s a dream I had a few nights ago.

Dream 14

It was at night, and I was stepping out of the shower in a house that wasn’t quite like mine but it was somehow our home.  On my phone, I saw that my Australian penpal had sent me a text saying, “World War III has begun.”  I was alarmed, to say the least, and when I looked outside the window, I saw rockets in the air, falling down toward the city.  So naturally, I was really freaked out and scared, and I went and found my mommy sitting on the couch, staring out at the window.  I crawled next to her and told her I was scared, and she told me it was going to be okay and that we were going to pack our bags and move to somewhere safer.

I asked about Florence, my older sister, and as we walked over to her room, she said she was coming with us.  When I looked into the room, it was quite dark.  I tried to turn the lights on but the switch didn’t seem to work.  I saw my sister’s shape in bed, sleeping, and somehow I knew she wasn’t coming with us because she was just too lazy to get out of bed.  Suddenly, from out of a closet next to the bed (which isn’t the way the room is laid out in real life), my other twin sister, jumped out and said she was coming with us and immediately began throwing clothes from the closet onto the bed and on the floor.  That woke my sleeping sister, who told us to keep it down.

My mother and I then got into the car but I didn’t know where we were driving to.  When we pulled up to Superstore, a rocket landed very close to us, and my mom, who was holding on to me as she was driving (I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt) swerved the car to avoid the rocket as it exploded on the ground.

Inside Superstore, there were lots of people, though not as many as I thought there’d be.  Everyone was buying food and supplies, but I saw that they were blocking off certain parts of the store for some reason, like clothing.  Lots of bakery items were being sold.  My mom bought some roses and paper for a letter, and after she bought it, she told me to write a goodbye letter to Florence.  She had written a bit on the top of the letter herself, but her writing was really childish and hard to read.

Dream 13

9 08 2011

Aug. 20, 2005

I was in the old house and running downstairs.  Maggie and Florrie were out to get me some reason.   The bathroom door would not close and therefore, Maggie somehow took the door off.  I ran to the next room but it also failed to close and Maggie took that door off too.  I ran to the room next to Florrie’s and just closed it.  I started opening the window when Maggie came in.  her nose was a little bloody even though I hadn’t really done anything to her, except maybe push a door in her face.  I got down and she started punching me but I dodged them.  She then started kicking but I was too far away.  I grabbed one of her legs when she was kicking and swung her against a wall.  She lay face down.  I finished opening the window and looked back at her, just to see if she was going to miraculously wake up.

But she didn’t.

I ran out the window and heard Florrie coming out of the front door, saying, “Hey!”  I think there were subtitles…

[dreaming in subtitles?  That’s really weird and I think I might just use that for my screenplay about dreams…]

Dreaming of music

1 08 2011

I dreamt last night that I was playing William Joseph’s Piano Fantasy for a competition, I think.  It’s a damn hard piece to play, especially at the right tempo, but in the dream, I was totally killing it.

Too bad it was only a dream.  😦  Maybe I should get to learning it again…

Dream 12

8 06 2011

Sept. 5, 2005

I was with Maggie and some other girls and we were walking to the PNE.  They went into a few stores as well (on the way there).  At one point, we all split up with someone else and I got paired up with Maggie.  She told me that she was sorry for everything.  She said, “I/it was sad.  Just sad… that’s all.”  She kept mentioning that she was sad about it and that she forgave me.  She even took my water bottle and put it in her bag.  I was sooo relieved it was all over and that I could finally play computer.  What a shame it was only a dream though.

[My commentary: I realize how vague this dream is and what I was probably afraid to write what the dream was about (but I still understand what I meant, 6 years later).  Nonetheless, I’m still not telling…]