Straight guys suck

22 10 2014

They’re fantastic kissers, but then they get stupid after sleeping with you. Maybe it’s watching Orange is the New Black and feeling like I could sass the world if it ever got in my face, but as I learned today whilst text-arguing with a straight boy, I’m tired to slinking away the wounded party and taking things personally. It’s your fucking fault if you think it’s “inappropriate” to go to a movie with me if you’re seeing someone. How is it inappropriate? What the fuck do you think will happen? That I’ll hit on you and break you two up? Which, by the way, implies that you’re not as straight as you claim, if all it takes is a movie to get you playing on team Gay. You chose your sexuality, but that doesn’t mean you gotta be a jerk about it. Clearly, it still bothers you — I bother you. But then again, you won’t have had a few drinks like last time before you were finally able to be around me, so I guess that says something about you.

I’ll always remember you telling me that blowjob I gave you was in your top 5. Can she beat that? I wouldn’t put my money on it.

Conversations on Grindr

18 01 2014

ME: Would you be up to cuddle sometime then?

HIM: No, thank you.

ME: Ok. Do you ever want to meet or talk again then?

HIM: We can talk, yes. I’m just not looking for anything clingy.

ME: Ok. I will be so detached and distant, you may think I’m a douchebag.

Where did you go, Douchebags of Grindr?

26 11 2013

Why are you unavailable when I need quotes for my personal essay? Noooooooooo!

Also, in general, where did you go???


29 10 2013

A conversation with someone on jack’d:

HIM: Wanna hng out sometime

I check my phone a few hours later and see this message, since I was in class. Immediately upon checking, I receive a new message:

HIM: A no would’ve sufficed

I want to tell him off, something like “Dude, I’ve been busy up until now. Chill the fuck out” but I decide to be nice and try to guilt him.

ME: I was in class all day until now.


He doesn’t apologize. Oh well. His profile picture is blank, so I ask, Do you have any pics?

He send me one, without saying anything else. I partly don’t feel like responding at the moment, but mostly I have a lot of stuff to do. I go home, have dinner, eat some food and try to relax after a long day. I don’t message him back until the next morning.

ME: Thanks. Sure I’d be up to hang out. What do you wanna do?

About a minute later–

HIM: Late reply much

Ok. I’m tired of being nice. But I don’t want to be too mean.

ME: Excuse me if I’m not addicted to my phone and that I have a life.

HIM: A life? lol

HIM: Dick

ME: Name-calling, how classy of you. You don’t know me, so don’t pretend you do. If you can’t accept that people don’t always reply to messages immediately, then that’s your problem. I’m sorry you have issues with that. Have a nice day.

And then I hit the block button. Now I’m not sure he got my last message (if he can no longer contact me or see me, is our conversation gone as well?).

I believe I was fairly polite and I took the high-road. What do you think? Am I a dick?


Douchebags of Grindr

16 05 2013

What an amazing site this is, full of such a broad spectrum of different kinds of douchebaggery as well as intelligent people who converge and rant about how awful gay men really are. I love it.

If there’s one thing I really dislike about the gay community, it’s the amount of racism that goes on. I don’t know how many “not into Asians” I’ve read on gay hookup sites, or even online dating sites. It’s utterly appalling, mostly because they somehow get away with it. And then these people have the nerve to be offended when others are offended at their offensive words.

I found these two comments on douchebagsofgrindr that I think really sum up why it’s not acceptable to say such mean things:

1. “If you exclude an entire race of people from your dating pool you are, by definition, a RACIST. It’s one thing to have a preference, but NO blacks NO asians is just racism. How can you know you won’t be into someone until you meet them…unless you’re a racist?

Truth hurts, doesn’t it, racists?

2. “No, it’s racism dressed up as preference. You are okay to be raising the point about preference – but there is a piece missing in people’s understanding of the subject matter.

Anyone who has spent any substantial amount of time in a foreign culture will automatically understand.

Once you go through an ‘acclimitisation’ phase, suddenly, your attraction evolves. What seemed mishappen, different, unattractive shifts. Perception is powerful. In India, Indians start to seem hot after a while and in Asia, likewise.

People are falsely assuming that there is an ‘absolute’ hegemonic, invariant ‘beauty’.

There actually isn’t! And our disgusting words ‘no Asians’ or worse ‘no Rice’ is simply vomitronic language – harmful to the reader – and to non-Asians in more insidious ways for the normalising of racial abuse.”

Thank you, douchebagsof grindr, for such in-depth sociological discussions of life.