Teenage journal

Reading it again is a bit surreal and definitely embarrassing, to say the least. In some ways, it’s difficult to believe I ever wrote some of this stuff because most of it is so bad, but it’s also hard to remember how I was mentally. And then to reflect on that and how I am now…

Reading over old diary entries

Isn’t it kind of depressing?

In all fairness, it completely depends on your childhood and your entries, but man, from the way I detail everyday events, my life sounded pretty horrible. I think I just felt powerless — at home, at school, with my crushes — and apparently my mom yelled at me a lot. I wonder if I should include that in my memoir…

In any case, I’m really glad I had a journal(s). Did you keep journals growing up? Were they helpful in any way?

The Wannabe-Filmmaker’s Guide to Making a Short Film — 5 days to go

Updates:

No new official crew updates today, although I did get an email from someone about being an Art Director. We’ll see how that goes.  I also forgot to mention my good friend and former co-worker Chris might be able to “lend a handy hand”, as he called it.  He’s good with pretty much all positions so I’ll just say he’s a wildcard.

Crew update:
Director: me!
Cinematographer: Joe
1st Camera Assistant: Chris
Gaffer: Zac

Drivers:
Elaine
Kelvin?
Chris?

To be filled in:
Makeup
Sound
Gaffer/lighting
Art Director
Camera op.
EPK
Stills photographer
1st AD

Got distracted today and didn’t get to look for a frame.  I should really stop doing that.

I also added the role of still photographer to the list, which means I have another person to look for.

For all those who actually have producing experience: is $200 to use someone’s place for a film shoot for a day a reasonable offer?  The woman whose place we’ll be shooting in has also suggested $300 if we are to be needing both weekend days.

Is it wrong of me to want to negotiate with her?  I mean, I’m more than willing to pay her something — of course she should get something.  But $300?  Hmm… my gut feeling says it’s quite a bit.  I’d feel more comfortable paying $200 for both days, but I think I need other opinions.

I also spent the day sending out emails to some old film friends to see if they’d be up for helping out.  I got one response back, and he’s in Japan.  So not going well so far.

Perhaps tomorrow will be more productive since it’s a weekday.  Let’s hope so.

PS.  If this experience has taught me anything, it’s that I really dislike producing.  Part of it is not knowing anyone/anything.

Should I be concerned about how this is all happening?  I’m sure I’ll start panicking later.

The Wannabe-Filmmaker’s Guide to Making a Short Film — 6 days to go

After turning on my phone this morning, I get a text from Joe, saying the following:

My Ear infection spread to my throat and it started to swell up so I had to go to the hospital.

My immediate response was something along the lines of, “When did you have an ear infection??  Also, OMG!!”

But seconds later, another text popped up:

But I’m better now.  It’s like that time we filmed the pill movie and I had no voice.

Six days to go and I have an almost-mute cinematographer with an infection.  Just what I need.

Updates:

We have a gaffer!  YES!!!!  (courtesy of Joe) We may also have a driver, my friend Kelvin, to help get equipment on Friday (courtesy of me).

Crew update:
Director: me!
Cinematographer: Joe
1st Camera Assistant: Chris
Gaffer: Zac

Drivers:
Elaine
Kelvin?

To be filled in:
Makeup
Sound
Gaffer/lighting
Art Director
Camera op.
EPK
1st AD

I posted an ad for an Art Director on craigslist.  No response as of yet.

Was supposed to go shopping for a photo frame but didn’t have enough time, as I had to send out frantic emails to the woman whose house we’ll be using for the shoot.  Eventually, she texted me tonight about things, and mentioned a “rental fee”, which of course, I completely forgot about.  If I were to be writing a guide book, one of the things I’d advise wannabe-filmmakers to be aware of is paying people — everyone associated with the shoot.  Not just cast and crew.  And paying doesn’t have to be money, either.  It can be food, or copies of DVDS, or a credit on IMDB or something.  You gotta work that out.  But be aware that people will probably expect something from you, unless you’ve made it perfectly clear that you are a dirty broke artist making a film for absolutely no money.

Joe said the total for the equipment rentals is about $144, which isn’t too bad, really.  I don’t mind paying it, if it’s what we need to make a good movie.

Since I have the day off tomorrow, hopefully we can sort out some more details.  Let’s hope no one else gets any infections.

The Wannabe-Filmmaker’s Guide to Making a Short Film — 7 days to go

This has taken forever.

Obviously not forever, but months — half a year, to be precise — certainly seems forever.  I’ve been planning this short film project for almost a year now.  It was supposed to be filmed in the winter of last year, but due to many, many issues, most of which were my fault in one way or another, it has been postponed again and again.

Until now.

My cinematographer, Joe, has finally given me the thumbs up to proceed filming on the weekend of the 21st and 22nd of this month, which is next weekend.  We, thus, have 8 or so days before filming begins.  This isn’t so much a guide to making a short film as it is a document about how things are going (probably for the worst) to the lead-up to the shoot, our progress, and planning.

A bit about the project: it’s a silent film titled June.  The story is about a ghost who, in the middle of the night, tries to communicate to his still-alive lover by attempting to play piano.

Here’s our confirmed cast and crew so far:

Cast:

Ghost: Kam
Man:  Jordon

Crew:
Director: me!
Cinematographer: Joe
1st Camera Assistant: Chris

Drivers:
Elaine

To be filled in:
Makeup
Sound
Gaffer/lighting
Art Director
Camera op.
EPK
1st AD

I think that’s it.  There actually might be more crew positions, but I’m not super knowledgeable about crew positions like Joe is.  As you can see, we still have many crew positions to fill.  Most of them are being handled by Joe, who actually knows film people, whereas I, the writer, know, well, writers.  I did find the actors though!  I get points for that, right?

Other things:

Food:

We also have food to take care of.  We’ve got an idea of what we want, but need to get ingredients.  Since the shoot is next week, we can put that off until the day before.

Props:

Almost have everything.  Need to get some flowers, a 5×7″ picture frame, and a (preferably) red point and shoot camera.  The last one might be hard, apart from going to Bestbuy and buying one, then returning it when we’re done.

Music:

Right, I gotta re-record some music for the film.  Thanks for reminding me, me.

Transportation:

We need a few people to help transport people and equipment.  My dear friend Elaine is up for it, which I very much appreciate.

As Elaine told me, I have a lot of work to do.  I thought about this all earlier, and I wondered if all short films are this rushed and crazy.  I think so.  But then I think about people like Jason Karman, who seems super organized and has things planned months in advance and I think, “But…. wha?!  How????”

Here’s to the film project that will, fingers crossed, come together in seven days.  *fingers crossed*

Another dream

It’s kinda weird to be finding things I’ve written so many years ago.  But cool.  Very cool.

Dream

July 4, 2004

I’m sitting down on either a bench or a bus.  Sean is next to me.  I’m eating a bagel and he asks for some.  I say he can if he kisses me.  He does but not on my lisp/cheek.  So I point it out and he looks kind of nervous and he leans towards me and kisses me on the lips [unintelligible], his finger there too.  Now I’m in a house with Sean.  We’re on some kind of strange mission.  He ditches me and I am left by myself.  I try to find a place to hide.  I hide in a closet for a while.  Then I hear footsteps and voices.  There is nowhere to hide now.  A bug(?) opens the door and sees me.