I don’t understand people.

16 02 2017

[About two days’ with of relatively engaging, interesting chat on Grindr later]

Me: Do you like cuddling?

Him: Of course. Who doesn’t?

Me: Some people don’t. I think they’re lizard people.

Him: haha, lizard people is right.

Me: I also once converted a non-cuddlier into a cuddle fanatic.

Him: hahaha, look at you go!

Me: Would you like to cuddle sometime?

[No reply for several hours]

Me: [in an attempt to not come off as a slut] Or we could go for coffee/drinks first before jumping into bed.

[No reply for several more hours]

[He’s logged in, hasn’t responded]

Me: is that a no?

[Conversation disappears: I’ve been blocked (or he deleted his account, who knows)]

I don’t get it. I thought it was going fine. Did I do something wrong?





Sexual racism encounter #74

29 11 2016

On Grindr:

Him: I’m Italian Canadian. What’s your ethnicity?
Me: (hesitantly) I’m Chinese. May I ask how old you are?

Five seconds later, the conversation disappears. I’ve been blocked.





Tinder

23 07 2016

A friend of mine was showing me Tinder and how she had more than 800 matches. I admit: I was jealous. There was no way in hell I would ever have 800 conversations on Grindr, not even close to half that. But seeing her matched with some admittedly attractive guys got me hoping that it could also happen to me on Tinder. After all, there were bound to be more guys on Tinder, which meant more potential matches. I wouldn’t have to talk with 50 year old men if I didn’t want to. It sounded great.

Then I realized one crucial thing: she was a Korean woman, desired by many straight men. I was a Chinese gay man, desired, based on experience, by much fewer. Without getting into sexual politics and preferences/requirements and the differences between heteros and homos, I realized being gay and Asian is always going to be an uphill battle no matter the app, dating site, lot otherwise.

I’ve an app exactly like Tinder on my phone but for gay men called Surge. It currently has great reviews in the Play store, so I gave it a try. I swiped right for so many profiles when I first got started, and then waited impatiently for the matches to appear. I got very few in return, to the point where I wondered if something had gone wrong. I had liked countless guys but had matched with a small handful… Which meant that the majority of them had no interest in me. It was a really saddening conclusion.

So wouldn’t Tinder just be the same? They always say it’s better to try because at least you know.

I already know.





Why?

12 03 2016

Did you find my words and my skin and decide they were both tainted?

Or was my negativity in believing myself not to be a poet too much to handle?

Could it be that you decided I was a directionless deadbeat who pathetically still lived at home because I work on-call and don’t have a regular work schedule?

Yes, it has been more than two months.

And yes, it still bothers me.

You shouldn’t have kissed me if you didn’t mean it because now I end up seeming insane
still
askingWhy?





Funny cool poster

13 08 2015

This poster is really cool and I think indicative of the coolness of Washington state. I wish I could attend. They make dating sound so nice!

image





Week-long date with my book

14 04 2015

I’ve been away from it for a while, and I recently realized that I need to spend some time getting to know it and what it wants to be. I thought I had it figured out, but then I realized that there were some things I didn’t know, some other stories it wants to tell. Also, I gotta get out of my house because my cat and reachable food is too distracting. So I’m going to take my computer and sit with my book in a cafe somewhere and figure it out.

Should be a hot date.





Chances

7 02 2015

The chance of me getting a guy’s phone number: 0.0001%

The chance of me getting a guy’s phone number in a sauna: -15.3%

And yet, I did tonight. And I didn’t even have to resort to violence or threats!