Farewell to intelligence

12 09 2012

Woman: “One for ‘Farewell to Rome.'”

Aaron rolls his eyes.

Aaron: “Do you mean Farewell, My Queen or To Rome with Love?

Woman:  “Oh!  I got mixed up ’cause someone over there was talking about it.”

Aaron:  “Uh huh.”

Woman:  “So that’s for Farewell, My Queen.” [pause] “No no no!  I meant To Rome with Love!”

Aaron:  “Is that your final answer?”

Fun must be mutual

28 07 2012

“It’s not fun if it’s not mutual.”  — Mae Lee, at Fifth Avenue Cinemas.

Labyrinth of Fifth Avenue Cinemas

10 07 2012


Aaron and Daniela sit inside box office.  Aaron sells a customer a ticket, and there are three other customers lined up behind her.  Daniela, on the other hand, isn’t helping anyone at the moment.  A stanchion divides the line between the two employees outside where customers can form an organized line.

Daniela notices the people standing behind Aaron’s customer.  She waves her hand, trying to get their attention.

Daniela: I can help the next person!

A WOMAN, the next in line, leans over to face Daniela.

Woman:  I don’t know how to get to you!

Aaron tries his best to contain his laughter, while Daniela looks puzzled.

Daniela: What did she say?

Aaron: [through laughing]  She… she said… ‘I don’t know how… to get to you…’ as if it’s some sort of maze… all she has to do is turn around and walk through the obvious gap, over to you…

Daniela:  When she gets to you, you should tell her, ‘You made it!  Hooray!’

Aaron will have bouts of uncontrollable laughter the rest of his shift.

Fifth Avenue vs. Crazy Germaphobe Lady

27 06 2012

Fifth Ave: 1
Crazy Germaphobe Lady: 0

That’s disgusting, holy shit!

14 05 2012

Me: And… here is your large drink.

Customer:  That’s huge, oh my god.

Me:  And you can get free refills on your large drink, by the way.

Customer: That’s disgusting, holy shit!

Fuck that.

13 05 2012

Customer:  I’d like a medium frozen yogurt.

Me: Sure thing.

I go over to dispense the vanilla frozen yogurt from the machine, since we’re all out of chocolate.

Customer: Don’t you have a twist thing?

Me: Yes, but we’re all out of chocolate right now.

Customer: Why are you out of chocolate?

I look around at the massive amount of people in the lobby, waiting to order food and drinks.  I guess it wasn’t as obvious as I thought…

Me: Because… there’ve been a lot of people today, who have ordered lots of food–

Customer: Fuck that.

*stunned silence*

Me:  Um… do you still want the frozen yogurt?

Customer: Yeah, yeah.

Why aren’t the lights on?

23 04 2012


Yet another day with Aaron working the door.  Yet another WOMAN (60’s) comes in.  She holds her ticket out to him.

WOMAN:  Your lights aren’t turned on?

Aaron is confused, to say the least.  He looks up.  Lights on above them.

He looks to the neon lights above the cinemas.  Lights on there.

He looks to the concession.  Lights bathe his co-workers.

AARON:  Um… yes, they are.

WOMAN:  Oh!  I have my sunglasses on!  Haha!

AARON:  Oh.  Ha.  Ha.

WOMAN:  And I thought you didn’t have the lights turned on!

AARON:  That’s… great.


12 03 2012


It’s a busy-as-usual Saturday night, and everyone at concession has line ups.  Aaron is on C1.

Aaron:  Enjoy the show!

MAN:  Thanks.

A woman (50-something… not sure), made-up face and wearing jewelery, arms linked with and dragging what seems to be either her incapacitated husband (50’s) or a mute hostage.  The woman speaks quickly, as if it is a life or death situation.

Aaron: Hel–

Woman:  Cappuccino.

Aaron: [taken aback]  I’m sorry?

Woman:  Cappuccino.  Cappuccino!

Aaron:  Oh!  Uh, unfortunately, we don’t have specialty coffees anymo–

Woman: Coffee!  Do you have coffee?

Aaron:  Yes, we–

Woman:  Give me a coffee!

Aaron: Um, sure.  Would you like a regular size or–

Woman:  Regular!

Aaron:  Alright.

He pushes the button on the screen and turns around to dispense said coffee.  When he turns back around with the cup of coffee, there is exact change laid out next to his till.

Aaron:  Here you–

The woman snatches her coffee and drags her husband/hostage (oh wait.  Same thing) away.  Aaron stands there, momentarily stunned.

Just another night at Fifth Ave.