Jesus: “That’s not what I meant!!!”

12 08 2012

After watching every single video of Ellen Degeneres performing stand0up on youtube, I then moved on to Margaret Cho, whose comedy is much, much different.  Prepare for lots of swearing!  I do enjoy how she scathes everything and everyone.  My favourite quote in this video is the following:

“They have no right to call themselves Christians because they have no Christianity to them.  They have no kindness.  They have no compassion, no charity.  I want Jesus to come back and say, ‘That’s not what I meant!!!'”

And my second favourite, when people were ranting and raving about how Spongebob Squarepants is gay: “Spongebob… is a sponge.”

The Wise Kids

14 08 2011

The Queer Film Festival started on Thursday, but I didn’t get to start watching any films until last night, at Day 3.  I would’ve really liked to see We Were Here but unfortunately, I was at work and was only able to make it to one of the late screenings.  I’m glad to start reviewing queer films again!

Synopsis: The film follows the stories of three teens in a small, southern town in the US as they prepare for college, face religious questioning, sexuality issues, and make the transition into adulthood.

Super awesome things: Stephen Cone’s direction is really impressive in this.  Instead of cutting out silences and getting to the characters talking, he lets them linger, creating huge amounts of awkwardness not only for the characters on screen, but for the audience as well.  There’s one scene where a man comes out to one of the kids and his fumbling for the words as he confesses a part of himself created massive amounts of tension (Will he say it?  Will he chicken out?) that, ultimately, is true to life.  No one speaks so eloquently all the time, and Cone understands that.

The acting is also noteworthy in that all three “Wise Kids” do a great job.  I have my reservations about young actors but their sensitivity and the way they handled the characters made them seem real.  Last but definitely not least, there were so many subtle things and subtext that it was clear the writing and filming was well-thought out beforehand.  When one of the teens, who is having her doubts about her faith and is in the church play (I think?) depicting the crucifixation of Christ, there is a scene where one of her lines is “Where is he?”.  The director of the play makes her say it several times, and of course the subtext here is that she may be wondering aloud, “Where is He?”  Fantastic stuff.

Not so super awesome things: The only thing I really have to gripe about this film is that especially in the first third of the film, the camera tended to dolly around the characters, which became really noticeable after a while and took me out of the film a little.  I also wish there was some conclusion to Tim’s subplot with his homophobic brother but I guess you can’t resolve everything.

Good for watching: For a quiet, reflective night if you want to watch a film that makes you think.

Overall: Stephen Cone is adorable.  A fantastic way to start off the festival (for me, anyway).

Grade: A-

Article (part 2)

13 03 2011

“Jeez, hurry up, Jeremy!  What were you doing?  Daydreaming?”  I looked at her and then at my books.


When I got home, I had to immediately go to my room.  My parents told me that I ihad to finish my homeowkr before dinner, and if I didn’t, I had to finish after.  But this time, I just lay on my bed and thought about Sean.  God, how much I loved that boy, even from the first time I ever saw him (oh yeah, I’m gay if you haven’t already noticed).  Yet, no one would ever know how much he meant to me — well, except Chelsea.  She knew about me already.  I was relieved she was okay with it and wanted to come out to everyone.  Nevertheless, there was just no way.  My parents would kick me out, my school would hate me, and not to mention Sean might hate me!  I glanced around my room and thought about how boring my life was.  Something needed to happen!  I knew just what to do.

The next week, when issues of Teenink were distributed throughout our schooo, I waited anxiously at everyone’s reaction.  I looked for and found Chelsea.

“Have you read my new article?” I jumped up and down like a 12-year old schoolgirl.

“No, but I will now.”  She grabbed an issue her from locker and found the correct page.  I gave her a few minutes to read my article.  When she finished, she gave me a hug, which was surprising to say the least.

“I’m so proud of you, Jeremy.”  I took a breath and let it out.

“So am I.”

That scene right there was actually the only good thing to happen to me that day.  The rest of the student body all stared at me and uttered hate words to me, though most of them I didn’t even know.  Somebody spray-painted my locked with the word “fag”.  Hmm… perhaps coming out was not such a good idea after all.

I returned home after getting beaten up, robbed, and yelled at with hate words.  I expeccted some opposition but like this.  My nose bled as I walked into my house.  Immedialy, my dad asked me what happened.

“Oh nothing.  Just got the crap beat out of me!”  My mother, who was in the next room, came, took one look at me, and ran for the first-aid kit.  I sat down on the couch in the living room.  I asked my dad if he loved me.

“Yes, of course I do.  What happened?”  At that moment, my mom came downstairs and started cleaning me up.  I asked her the same question, and she replied the same.  They both stared at me strangely, but concerningly.  I took out a copy of Teenik and showed them my article.

After they read it, they looked at one another.  Again, I asked the same question.

“Do you love me?”  I was surprised how well they kept their anger in control.  My parents got up.  My mother started crying while my father answered.

“I think you know the answer.”  I couldn’t tell if he did or didn’t by the tone of his voice.

“So yes?”  My voice came out weak.  Without answering, my father lead my mom out of the room.

In the bathroom, I was so angry and depressed at the same time.  My parents didn’t understand.  I could hear them saying how they didn’t want me around.  My dad said something like kicking me out.  The phone began to ring.  My parents ignored it, and I did too.  I took out a razor from the cabinet and cried.

Eventually, the answering machine picked up.

“Jeremy?  Are you there?  Well, I guess not.  I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for what you’re going through.  What I’m actually getting at is… I really like you.  I want to get to know you better… well, I hope you’re alright.  Oh!  And about what you said about me in the article… I love you, too.”

Click.  Sean hung up after I slashed myself.

[That’s the end of the story.  Typing this up, there are a lot of corrections I want to make but I decided to leave it in the original form.  Maybe I’ll edit this for later.  Oh, and I got 5 out of 6 on it.  :)]

Article (part 1)

12 03 2011

Wrote this in Grade 11, I think to show the teacher during the first week our level of English/grammar/spelling/all that stuff.


It’s funny how your life can change so quickly with just saying a few words.  of course your life could change for the better or for the worse.  I learned this lesson the hard way.

Well, I guess I should start by saying who I am.  My parents are both Christian, and of course them being Christians, they named me Jeremiah.  However, everyone at school calls me Jeremy.  It’s quite demanding to live with my parents; they’re quite strict and devoted to our religion.  Actually, they call themselves Mormons and all, but i don’t really care.  But what I did care about, i would never tell anyone.  So anyways, here’s my story about everything.

School sucks.  Everyone knows that.  We students feel like we’re in jail, and those damn teachers are the security guards.  People don’t seem to understand how difficult life is when you’re a teenager, even if they were some millions of years ago.

So anyhoo, I was at school with my friend, Chelsea.  We were best friends for so long and we told each other our deepest secrets (or at least I think she did).  She was reading our city’s high school newspaper, Teenink.

“Oh my god!  Your article is in here!” she exclaimed.

“Really now?  I thought it was my evil twin.” She stared at me without smiling.

“You know, you never have any pride in your work, even if other people are happy for you.”  This time, I was staring at her.  I blinked a few times and she sighed.

“Let’s just go to class,” she said.

We started walking to our Spanish class when i dropped my books in my arm.  They landed on the ground, but the noise of other students talking and yelling made it impossible to be audible.

“Chelsea!  Wait!  I dropped my books!” I yelled to the figure that was walking away from me.  Maybe she was still upset about me or she didn’t hear my pleas at all.  Whatever, she didn’t turn around.  I groaned and rolled my eyes at no one in particular.  I bent down to pick up my books when suddenly a hand reached out and scopped them up before I had a chance.  I slowly looked up and wished who that hand was connected to.  When my eyes finally fixed, my wish had come true after all.  It was Sean, the hot-jock-guy-that-wasn’t-really-a-jock-but-was-really-sweet.  I stared into his eyes and gazed dreamily at him.  He smiled back and handed me my books.

“I think you dropped these,” he said.  I think he could tell I was into him but really didn’t know what to do about it.  But then again, not all moments last forever; the last bell rang again, signaling the end of our encounter.  He quickly ran off as I was left with the still-fresh-Kodak-moment with his eyes.  Just then, i felt someone pull my shirt.  I turned and saw Chelsea, waiting impatiently….