I, Dumbass

Thought I was scheduled to work at one library today but it turns out I wasn’t (and thank god they told me I wasn’t scheduled in advance). I tried to find out where I was supposed to work from 1-5pm like I had written in my agenda, but no such luck searching my inbox for a confirmation email.

“Oh, maybe I was just confused or something,” I thought to myself. Still, I know myself enough to know that I don’t just write down random work days for no reason. I’m not that stupid.

So I took the day off; I went grocery shopping with my mom in the afternoon, then went to watch Guardians of the Galaxy (finally, I know). After the film, I checked my email and lo and behold, there was one from a different branch, telling me I had been scheduled to work today. She even forwarded me the confirmation email that I somehow couldn’t find in my inbox, and sure enough, I said, “I am available to work on Sunday Oct. 12 if you haven’t found anyone.”

Fuccckkkkkkkkkkkk.

Fuck.

I felt so bad, so guilty, so stupid. And yeah, everyone makes mistakes and it’s not like anyone died (that I know of. Maybe they became overwhelmed by books and have now been buried in them forever). I’m sure part of my guilt is that I have high expectations for myself and that I pride myself on being at least above average intelligence, but man, if this isn’t an indicator of the alternative. And it’s not like I can really make it up — except maybe offering to volunteer my services, but I don’t even have time for that — and I’m not sure if there are any consequences for missing a shift (like going on my record or someone from HR officially telling me an idiot, which I already know). Ugh.

I guess I’ll just try to obey what the fortune cookie advised me: to have a relaxing weekend with family and friends.