Boom.

Holy fuck. You’re so goddamn handsome was my immediate thought, one that even caught me by surprise when I saw him. Everyone else walked on the bus like he was just another bus driver, but I stared at him as he put on a reflective vets and got out to fix the electric antennae that had jumped the cables.

I never think like this. And yet, for some reason, I did when I saw him. I don’t know why. I even intentionally went to the front of the bus to exit, thanking him. He waved a hand a me and wished me a good night, which I returned, and in that moment, I felt my excitement replaced by something else: defeat. In that moment, he glanced at me with indifference, his voice level. Like yet another straight guy I’ve fallen in love with.

My heart went boom twice and he didn’t hear nor see it.