Interviewing a wall

13 08 2013

How do you have a conversation with someone if they never ask you any questions? Like this, for instance:

Me: I am saying hi, as requested! How’s life?

Him: hey life’s good how r u

Me: Life’s alright. I take it you go to ubc too?

Him: yea I’m on campus

Me: Are you unfortunately taking summer courses?

Him: no I’m working

Me: What do you do? I work as a writing tutor during the school year.

Him: I’m doing some research right now

Needless to say, I’m extremely turned off and uninterested in the conversation. I don’t feel like messaging him anymore. But this has happened countless times, where I ultimately end up basically interviewing a guy who never me about myself. Some people have told me I just have to insert myself and say things, but that feels wrong to me. I tried to do it in the above, to try and make it a conversation, but he completely ignored it. Once, someone I had been chatting with randomly, after we said the usual “hey”s, said “Went on a trip for two weeks” out of nowhere. My immediate reaction was, I didn’t ask so… I don’t really care. Why are you even telling me this? I’ve convinced myself that people think the same thing if I ever try to insert bits about myself without them asking first. But boys don’t ask things, they just talk about themselves, so I end up interviewing a wall. It’s gotten to the point where I will stop responding to messages quicker if there are no questions posed at me; I should feel like a jerk, but I don’t have patience to interview people anymore.

In fact, after that very unstimulating conversation I had today, I wondered if I should point out the fact that he was being so boring and uninteresting but then I thought that’d make me seem bitter, which I suppose I am anyway. Gay boys just can’t seem to know how to have proper conversations and it makes me want to slap them in the face. It makes me want to educate them, and especially to tell them that they really aren’t as interesting as they think they are. In fact, they are as nameless and unmemorable as almost everyone I’ve met online or via apps. Should I say something? I reeeeeeeally want to! Even if it’s a snarky, verbally ironic remark.

So if you’re trying to act coy and play hard to get by not asking questions, try again. It’s not working.

And if I don’t respond to your message about how you went to Japan or that you’re doing research, it’s not because I haven’t had a chance to reply. It’s probably because you make me not give a shit.

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