Losing my romanticism

17 12 2011

My ex once told me, “Life isn’t like a movie where the gay character comes out and everything is good.”  And even though I didn’t tell him, I thought, “Why not?”  After all, although movies feature fictional stories and characters, there must be some sort of reality or truth on which they’re based, right?

My other ex told me the other day, “Glee and Twilight are fictional.  They’re made for people to enjoy, to believe.”  And then I thought the same thought as before. Sure, the invisible Rachel eventually getting the crush of her dreams– the quarterback of the football team, nonetheless– might be created for teenage girls to watch and swoon over, but that’s not to say it doesn’t happen.

Maybe I’m the only one out there who believes that airport-chase scenes and interrupted-wedding scenes are possible, are a sure way to get back the person you love or at the very least, make them see that you love them, so that later, they would do the same for you and you’d end up together.  Yes, I would be the one to do these things.  Maybe it isn’t realistic to believe that it happens when I’m the only one to believe they do.  Maybe I’m the only one who would do them.

And I have done them.  Not as dramatic as a running after someone in an airport before their flight leaves, but on a smaller scale.

But things went differently for me.  There was no, “I see things differently now.  Let’s get back together” or “I’ve been really sad without you too.  Would you like to try us again?”  Maybe I did things wrong.  Maybe my exes just really didn’t want to get back together with me.  However, the more I think about it, the more I’m begining to see that nothing is guaranteed.

I said to my ex that day, “Maybe stories are just unhappy realities with happy fantasies tacked on as endings.”  The more I think about it, the more I realize maybe my first ex was right.  Maybe life is not like a movie.  Maybe it’s time for the romantic who finally put away these scenes are only fantasies and not realities.

I have been watching this scene over and over again from The Broken Hearts Club for the past few days.  It kills me every time Howie starts to say, “I hope that you’re happy together.  I hope that this works out and he’s everything that you need.”

I think I need to accept that sometimes, once things are over, they are over.  I can try to hypothesize solutions or analyze what went wrong in order to figure out possible suggestions.  That isn’t a bad thing.  But a relationship is two-way; I can’t always be the one with suggestions when the other person doesn’t want to listen or help come up with things.  I think I need to take a step back from these movies, shows, and books and see that you don’t always get what you want, and some people don’t want to get back together or work things out.  There aren’t always happy endings no matter what I think or do.

Not all the Howies get their Marshalls back.

[scene starts around 4:25]




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: