The Meaning of Life (part 10)

19 09 2010

“Nothing, Matt.  I just went over to his house, that’s all.”

“What do you mean that’s all?  Do you know how many people will start to think you’re gay?”

“You’re being ridiculous, Matt.”

“No, I’m not!  You are the one that’s being ridiculous!”  He realized he was shouting and paused.

“Look, Jeremy, I’m just trying to look out for you.  You know I’m your best friend and all so that’s what I should be doing.”

“No, Matt, what you’re doing is telling me how I should live my life.  I get enough of that from my mom.  I don’t need someone else to tell me that crap.”  I slammed the receiver down into the cradle and flopped on my back on the bed.  Why did Matt act like such a weirdo?  I was obviously old enough to take care of myself.  I decided not to think about this and just get to bed.

*           *           *           *

I woke early the next day to see Sean at school.  I ran all the way to school without stopping.  As I approached room 314, I already began to think about what to say to Sean.  How are you?  No, too formal.  How are you doing?  Sounds too much like he’s sick.  What’s up?  I’m not a gangster!  But I wouldn’t have to think much further, because when I came in the classroom, he wasn’t there.  Mr. Salice was there, though.  He looked up from the papers on his desk and said good morning to me.

“Good morning, sir,” I replied.  Maybe Sean would come later.  So I waited.

After the bell rang, I was getting concerned.  Still, it was sensible that he could come in late like he did yesterday.  It was not good to get ahead of myself and start thinking of irrational explanations.

During Mr. Salice’s lesson, I had totally zoned out.  Where was Sean?  I tried to refocus my attention to the material but it just wasn’t working.  Maybe he didn’t want to see me again.  But then how come he kissed me?  This was all confusing for me.  I wished I had someone to talk to.  I glanced at Matthew, who was staring at Mr. Salice.  If only he knew.

When recess came, I slowly walked to my hole.  I felt depressed and lonely.  Sean was the first person to ever understand what I felt.

“Hey, how are you doing?  You don’t look so well.”  It was Matthew.  He gave me a caring look, which I ignored.

“Do you know where Sean is?” I asked, and then wondered why I was even doing this after realizing it.

“Yeah, umm… Jeremy, I have to talk to you about him.”  His voice became low and scared.  What did he know about Sean?

Matthew took me outside to the water fountain.  He sighed and looked down at the ground.  “What is it Matt?  Do you know where Sean is or not?” The anxiousness in my words said it all.  I needed to know where he was.  Matthew breathed in and spoke.

“Yesterday, when Sean came in our class, I saw you constantly looking at him.  I wrote it in my notebook.  And then when you talked to him instead of me, I really had suspicions.  Finally, you went to his house, which is an obvious indication that you are…” The words hung in the air and I was left to fill it in.

To be continued!



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